You don’t really do rules, so we’re not even going to pretend; this ain’t no kind of copy writing CV. You don’t have time for that shit.
And we’ve met before, so you know I’m fully devoted to the cause.
You can find my words here:
And you can get saucy with them here:
- 10 Things That Are Keeping Everyone From Living Their Healthiest Life
- 6 Reasons Why Your Fat Thighs Are Smarter Than You
- 58 Ways to Save the World with Your Brain, Body, and Beauty
But it’s not words you were really wanting in the first place.
And it’s certainly not what they want.
He wants the size and shape of her ass fit into the mouth of his mind, as he pretends to focus on annual interest rates. She wants her thighs to be hot and wet as she presents the weekly figures, while squeezing the white-board marker harder and, yes, harder. Mrs. Jones wants more than prize winning cucumbers. And that couple, absolutely and without waiting, need to fuck the door down.
You want to tell them their darkest secrets because you already see what they need:
Everything they already know, but can’t say for themselves.
Everything they’re desperate for, but hiding from.
Every inch of flesh that pulses with pain and passion and blood.
You are their words. You are their thoughts. You are their truth.
All you have to do is say it.
That’s where I come in.
- As well as writing, I’m a London-based American hair and make-up artist, and have worked in the film industry for 9 years on such films as The Hobbit and Wonder Woman. Give me a bit of hair and a few pine cones and it’ll be a high-fashioned romp in no time.
- My blog, MegaBeauts.com, is my passion project. With gusto, I’m integrating health and beauty to inspire women to radically shift the way we think about bodies and life and biscuits and bones and lip gloss and pubic hair (and everything).
- I’ve just teamed up with Functional Medicine Practitioner Brie Wieselman to support sexy hormone health for women all over the world. She saved my life from parasites, SIBO, adrenal fatigue, fibromyalgia, H. Pylori, Candida, hormone imbalances and a world class mess. Herb and food based medicine is my language.
The Sprinkles on Top:
- Organic gardener
- Non-professional herbalist
- Kombucha maker
- Kefir cultivator
- Dumpster diver
- Seed sprouting, lip stick wearing, vintage loving, second-hand-clothes-buying mama
- Capable of any obscene, inappropriate, scandalous, and otherwise mother-shocking indulgence necessary. As a show of good faith, allow me to demonstrate: Oh dear, what a dratted mess we’ve made of the best bed linens.
1 Windmill Cottages
Weald, Sevenoaks, Kent
(+44) 771 6843 078
My deepest and most sincere gratitude to Team Anami for taking the time to consider my submission. I know saving the world from intimate inadequacy takes considerable effort, so I appreciate you sparing a moment for me. Be well.