**WARNING Graphic content: might not be suitable for work**

Some people are born sick. I wasn’t.

I made myself sick. I spent my entire childhood building up to spending my entire adulthood being sick.

And I was incredibly successful at doing so.

Since before I was a teenager, food always held negative connotations for me. My mom was always on a diet and fat-free was pure gospel. At 12 years old, I gave up soda because I knew it was “bad” and felt guilty every time I had a brownie or a Twix.

Barbie celebrating food, crossed out with a big red sign

By the time I was in high school, a flat tummy was my primary concern, and all I wanted was to be thin and beautiful, so I resolutely claimed I didn’t eat wheat or dairy because I “couldn’t tolerate them” – giving myself a bona fide condition (without the help of any doctors).

From about the age of 17, I was heath obsessed and self-punishing full time. If I indulged in frozen yogurt or had eaten too much, I’d take a walk by myself and purge my shame into the neighbor’s bushes, quiet and discrete.

A barbie being sick behind a fence post

In my twenties, I no longer had to worry about barfing up my problems. I had finally achieved my goal: I could hardly eat anything. I was sick. Really, really sick. My belly was huge with parasites, SIBO, H. Pylori, adrenal fatigue, chronic fatigue, hormone imbalances, and fibromyalgic pain.

A sick woman with a distended abdomen

An entire lifetime of food fear and self-loathing had finally come full circle. I no longer had to restrict my diet or think of reasons to exclude gummy bears from my life; my body was doing it on autopilot, and I had a great big distended, angry belly to show for it (not the lithe, svelte frame I’d dreamed of).

 

Chronic Illness and Eating Disorders

I’m going to throw it right out there: I believe my eating disorder became my illness. I believe that my fear of getting fat and having a poochy belly turned into an eating disorder. I think the eating disorder ingrained negative ideas of eating so deeply in my mind that I got sick and became engrossed in 10 years of food sensitivities and life consuming infection.

I had every symptom, every problem, and was deeply suspicious of all food all the time. I became anti-social, was incessantly harassed by the stupid body I hated, and tormented myself over every bite I took and what sort of reaction I would have.

See the pattern there?

And it is probably the same reason YOU are so sick all the time.

Huge, right?

A hideous boulder right in the eye and whoa whoa whoa whoa no.

Let me explain.

 

The Real Reason You’re So Sick All the Time

You don’t have to have a full blown eating disorder in order to qualify, here. It could be something as simple as hating your reflection. Repeating how fat you are every time those jeans squeeze your tum. Believing that if you eat dessert you’ll gain 5 pounds immediately. Mutilating your self-esteem with fashion mags. Buying yet another lipstick to make yourself feel better.

I’m talking about your brain. Your mindset. The way you see yourself and the relationship you have to your body and food and health and healing.

A woman thinking of a cupcake

That’s the real reason you’re so sick all the time. Because your mind is getting right up in your business, hijacking your best intentions and blasting you off course. Bringing out all the dirty laundry and making a stinking shambles of the whole thing.

3 Free Ways to Stop Your Mindset from Making You Sick

I know you’re here because you want to be well. I know you’ve crashed and burned the brain plane. I know you’ve dragged your body through pharmaceutical hell and back. Your soul is shredded and your spirits are singed.

It’s time to stop killing yourself. Stop spending your life suffering. Stop wandering blind.

Use these three tips as a jumping off point to kick start true healing. Take it from a professional invalid, educating your body, beautifying your mind, and healing your life starts here (and it’s free!).

1. Get Honest

Getting honest about the underlying causes of being unwell (physically or mentally) is rough. It’s emotionally triggering and psychologically challenging. I means facing facts and taking responsibility for your role. Believe me; I did NOT want to admit that a shameful eating disorder (and fear and self-loathing) had robbed me of 10 prime years(!).

Look at your symptoms. Your situation. Can you spot any patterns? Can you see where it all began? Was there an event that triggered you? A set of behavioral traits you inherited from your mom?

Digging up these roots will feel like a soul bearing, gut wrenching inquisition. But the answers are there, and they are the key to healing. You must confront the true cause before you embrace true healing – otherwise, it’s likely you will be (unconsciously) repeating patterns of self-sabotage.

 

2. Forgive Yourself

A heart made of broken pieces of blue dishes

Your self-exploration may uncover some nasty stuff. Proper demons. And that’s OK. In fact, that’s freaking awesome. The sooner you call all that stuff into the light, the sooner you can deal and ditch.

Throughout this process – from before you discover anything, through to thriving victory – you must forgive yourself for everything. For all the past failures, the negative thoughts, the self-loathing, how long it takes, the dark secrets. All of it.

Create a beautiful mindset from this point by simply allowing your past to exist, accepting yourself in the moment, and moving forward with a positive intention. Don’t dwell. Don’t punish. Everything happens for your highest good, so (even if you don’t understand it right now) move on believing that purpose and value will reveal itself as you press along with forgiveness and self-love in the driver’s seat.

 

3. Train Your Brain

Healing is the art of bringing physiology (the body) and psychology (the brain) into alignment with one another. Your body cannot be vital if your brain is sick, and vice versa. We must attend to both in order to achieve harmony.

But what if your mind is chattin’ about how ugly your thighs are? What if a little carb alarm goes off every single time you see a loaf of bread? What if you’re used to counting calories and get sucked in by swimming suit season advertising? Healing is not going to come from a place of comparison and inadequacy. 

You must reign in the brain to assist your healing journey. It’s not optional. After you get honest, you can start to dive into the subconscious programming that is informing your actions (and ultimately responsible for your successful recovery). Healing Hypnosis is a free and easy way to get you started on your way. You may also consider mindfulness, emotional freedom techniques, positive affirmations, meditation, or a combination of all. Find what feels good, and do it. 

Start Kicking Ass Today with a Beautiful Mindset

Oh my honey.

This is your cue.

The part where you get to put on your flower crown and take action.

Where you get to shine because you are finally standing in the light.

Where everyone gets to feel your love and share in the gifts you bring.

Because now you know.

How to move forward.

And how to move mountains.

Oh my gosh, yes.

 

xoxo

 

Tell me. Did you spend 2 years wrapped in a duvet with debilitating digestion? Did you pick up parasites in Peru? Have you had a spiritual healing experience? I want to know. 

You deserve true healing.

Book your FREE 15 minute appointment with my

LIFE SAVING Functional Medicine Practitioner Brie Wieselman today.**

You can also hop on over to get sexy, juicy, empowered healing and wellbeing from MegaBeauts

(FREE FREE FREE!)

**Brie is now my affiliate partner, so let her know who sent you and thank you for supporting us both.

 

You’ve read all the best advice. Even paid quite a lot for some of it. You’ve tried pills and potions, natural remedies and chemical cocktails. Maybe you’ve seen a psychiatrist, reflexologist, and gemstone healer. You’ve tried dry brushing and charcoal detoxes and meditation.

 

You’re not sick because you’re not trying.

 

But you’re not well, even though you’re really trying.

 

What the heck?

Lots of makeup, pills, and skin care

 

If you’ve spent a shed ton on expensive elixirs and miracle therapies, why are you still struggling with the same old demons? Why all the brain fog? Why the hideous acne and hair loss and dry skin? Why don’t you feel beautiful, even with a drawer full of designer lipstick? Why the pain and fatigue and confusion and stupid stupid pointlessness of it all?

 

All you can think is:

I don’t want to be sick anymore.

I don’t want to be sick anymore.

I don’t want to be sick anymore!

Ah ha. There it is. The crux. The answer. The cruelty.

 

Wait, what? Did you miss it?

 

Let’s explore.

The Absolute Key To Healing

Let me explain something that took me 28 years to stop ignoring. Listen closely because this will change your life in every single way forever and ev.

 

In order to heal, in order for your efforts to fulfill your desires (whether it’s to become more sociable, reduce sun spots and wrinkles, or improve adrenal function) you have to get your brain on board. Have to. Must. No other options.

A barbie wearing a helmet that is connected to lightbulbs to improve her mindset for healing

 

That is the key. Right there. Get your brain (and, moreover, your subconscious mind, which is 97% of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions) to do the hard work for you. 

 

You could throw a million dollars, the best supplements, and the most brilliant specialists at your problems…and it will all be for nothing until you get that mindset sorted. 

 

Once you have the gray matter on your side, the landscape of life becomes something beyond what you ever thought possible.

 

How? Read on.

 

The Two-Part Process

It’s natural for us to talk about what we want and don’t want. From infancy, we are trained to think in those terms. I want strawberry ice cream. I don’t want hair on my upper lip. I want to be a millionaire. I don’t want to be sick anymore.

 

However, this social norm presents a healing double edged conundrum that’s so sharp, it’ll skewer your liver and scramble your brains in a second if you’re not careful. Stay with me now, this is massive.

 

In order to find freedom from the suffering of your mind and body, you’ve got to get a hold of this two-part key to healing.

 

You don’t want to be sick anymore. That’s a given.

So:

1. You have to frame your healing goals in the positive tense.

And:

2. You have to get your subconscious mind on board.

 

Let me explain each in detail.

1. Shifting the Negative Focus

A pink germanium

Thinking in terms of what we want and don’t want becomes counter-productive when we get stuck stating what we want by saying what we don’t want.

 

For example, we’ve all thought, I don’t want to be sick anymore! Which is a perfectly reasonable sentiment. But what we really mean is, I want to be healthy, strong, vital and well.

 

See the difference?

 

Making the switch will take some time and effort; I know you don’t want it to rain on your wedding day and you certainly don’t want your tum to be bloated when you go out to dinner in a nice dress.

 

But every time you catch yourself framing what you want in the negative tense, simply redirect. Re-frame the sentiment with a positive spin. You want warm sunny weather for your big day, and you want to feel sexy and amazing in that figure-hugging dress.

 

Similarly, when you think, I don’t want to be sick anymore, dial into the vision you have of yourself being well, and focus on whatever encouraging, positive outcome you truly desire. Set yourself a definitive goal that you can focus on and visualise. It may be that you want to visit Venice and wear a yellow halter top. Or take a sewing class at the local college. Maybe you’ve always wanted to Salsa dance. Whatever it is: focus on going insane with happiness. 

 

2. Healing With the Subconscious Mind

Barbie holding a light bulb over her head to show a beautiful mindset

The subconscious mind is a tricky biscuit. It is non-negotiable that we get a grip on it; otherwise, we will constantly be battling against it’s 97% influence over our lives.

However, there are a few tricks to training the subconscious mind to do what we want, and one of them is learning to speak its language.

 

What I said about re-framing the negative focus from I don’t want to I want is the first part. Now, we’re going to refine that sentiment. 

 

You see, the thing is, the subconscious mind is extremely literal. So, when you say, I want, then your subconscious accepts that you are living in a state of wanting. As in, you are simply longing for something, and will continue to yearn for that thing as long as you say, I want. Your subconscious will simply go, “Righty-ho, we are going to want the dickens out of this thing!” As such, you will continue to want and want and want, never to be fulfilled.

 

The way to get around this is to re-frame yet again, by taking the positive focus you have cultivated from I want to the present tense of I am/I have/it is. So, instead of saying, I want to heal, say, I am healing more and more every day. In this way, your subconscious goes, “Oh, OK. So we are healing more everyday. Great. Let’s heal.”

 

Accordingly, your thoughts, emotions, and reactions begin to reflect this subconscious idea that every day you are healing more and more. As we apply this frame work to other areas of our life (particularly our healing journey) it all becomes far less effort and a much more intuitive, natural flow. It becomes habit. Imagine if being amazingly well and happy was simply a habit. As in, easy. Something you do without effort or even thinking.

 

That’s like ultimate success on auto-pilot (delivered in a vintage basket with peach jam).

 

From today, you can now start saying: my yoga practice is healing and nurturing my body. I am loving and forgiving in every moment and have more energy each day. I am beautiful, with youthful skin and an open mind.

(Even if you don’t entirely believe what you are saying, stick with it. You are rewiring your brain, which takes a bit of coaxing. Like any muscle, with regular practice, you will see results. The subconscious mind responds really well to repetition, so get cracking!)

Open Your Mind to a New Way of Healing

An drawing of a human heart overlaid onto a sunset

Though not necessarily easy, this two-step process is the absolute key to healing, and has the potential to radically alter your future.

It certainly changed my life. Like, completely.

 

And it’s totally free.

 

Imagine it: you totally (and dare I say, miraculously) transform your life, love, health, and relationships with some tiny little blog advice and boom!

You’re teaching aerobics like you’ve always wanted.

 

You’re a make-up artist on film sets, living the dream.

 

You can make love and have babies and eat cake and hold kittens and blow bubbles because you are strong and vital and well, inside and out.

 

Do this with me.

 

Educate your body. Beautify your mind. Heal your life.

 

Yes oh baby yes.

 

Tell me: Where has your healing journey taken you? Where have you been and what did you discover about who you really are? What pain have you overcome to become a bright shiny thing of absolute beauty? I want to know. 

Start Your Journey Toward Exquisite Wellness 

                                               >>with<<

                                      Your FREE GUIDE:

7 Steps to Sexy, Juicy, Empowered Healing & Wellbeing

 

You’ve reached the edge. You’ve been sick for a long time. You’re staring down into the darkest, deepest abyss of your soul wondering…will you fall? Will you jump?

You’ve been fobbed off by doctors, ignored by your friends and misunderstood by your mother. The symptoms are getting worse, the meds aren’t working, and it’s all you can do to get out of bed.

What now? How do you go on with work? Your struggling relationships? Paying the bills and simply living your life?

So much pain. Confusion. Frustration. Disappointment.

But are you really ready to find true healing?

To heal and thrive with purpose?

What do I mean? How could you NOT want to be well?

Well, that’s where it gets a bit sticky.

Sometimes the truth is, deep down, we don’t want to be well. I know that sounds pretty disgusting, given how bad you feel right now. I’m not trolling. This is not provocation for the sake of reaction.

What I am saying, however, is that you need to ask yourself this very serious question in order to truly start healing. In order to see genuine, lasting results. In order to leave it all behind and move forward with your beautiful life.

Are you really ready to find true healing?

A question mark made out of gem stones

You might be surprised.

For many, the answer is no.

Getting raw and honest about this, most people will make excuses when it comes to healing. It sounds insane, I know. But how many times have you said:

I don’t have the money.

Maybe later, when I have time.

I have a lot to do right now.

Probably more than you’d like to admit.

It’s human, and it’s OK. But it probably means that, up till now, you haven’t really been ready to get well.

Illness is as much a state of mind as it is a physical condition. I am not suggesting you’re crazy. Not a bit. But what I am saying, is that your experience (and results) very much depend upon your mindset. It’s not the actual illness or remedy…it’s your perception and reaction to it.

Making Your Health a Priority

If you’re ready to find true healing, your wellbeing must be a priority. It can’t be something you only engage with when it’s convenient, or only take interest in when it feels good. It’s a commitment to yourself, right to the end.

It’s not what you want to hear, but making strategic sacrifices is the quickest way to navigate yourself to a state of thriving vitality. This means setting financial priorities to invest in a functional medical practitioner who will heal you from tip to toe, instead splurging on a name brand laptop. This means setting social priorities and postponing the Mexico trip so you can follow through with your healing protocol for the best possible results (and enjoy Mexico way more, as a result).

This means finding purpose through your journey. Giving up complaining and suffering, and taking up self-exploration and paths of progress instead. Sleeping more, eating better, and paying attention to your body with care and kindness.

I am not advocating orthorexia – an obsession with “healthy living” is harmful and destructive. I am calling for a commitment to self. Paying particular attention to detail for a period of time that will yield lasting results. After, you can focus on other amazing priorities in the future with hysterical vim and vigor.

A Barbie trying to decide to find true healing or buy a laptop

Letting go of Excuses

It’s not fair. Why you? It’s too hard. You can’t stand it. Being ready to find true healing means letting go of excuses. Completely. Giving up the temptation to host a pity party and gossip with all the guests about how hard your life is.

It’s true: being sick sucks, 100%. A decade of parasites, SIBO, Candida, Chronic Fatigue and H. Pylori taught me that lesson good and proper. I blamed, complained, waled, and gnashed my teeth. But it didn’t do me a single favor. In fact, it only made me bitter and resentful (and sicker).

If you’re ready for this ship to sail, it doesn’t matter how tired you are. How much you love Diet Coke. How you love to get drunk and binge on doughnuts. This is not a moral judgement; as a human, I wish you blissful indulgence and enjoyment in every form. But right now, doughnuts are not your priority – and you need to be clear with yourself about that…otherwise you will give into that temptation every time it knocks on your door.

Kick out the excuses and replace them with actionable goals. Every time you feel an excuse rising to the surface, write it down. Tape it to the mirror. Stick it along side your health goals and see how it measures up: This is too hard verses an amazing hiking holiday with your partner in the Amazon. No excuses.

Doughnuts made out of paper

Getting Attention From Others

I say with this utmost love and respect, but some people do not want to find true healing for the simple fact that they adore the attention that being sick brings: Sympathy from friends. Get Well cards and beautiful flowers. A doting partner that waits on them, hand and foot. Concern when they tell others that they’re going in for another hospital appointment.

It’s a real trigger for some…but it’s also a formula that works. Instant results (that you can easily get from people you don’t even know!).

There are many psychological theories that explore this behavior, but the point is, you may have some needy subconscious programming that is keeping you ill. Your mindset may be working against your best efforts to truly achieve your wellness goals.

There’s no need to wallow in shame or judgement if this is you; recognize, accept, change. You may need to dig deeper than supplements and detox plans to get to the heart (or brain) of this situation; your subconscious mind may need some tending. Hypnotherapy and meditation are great places to start (today, for free, at home!); Emotional Freedom Technique, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and personal counselling may also help you to come to terms with this blocker.

Barbie holding a Get Well card

Focusing on the Negative

It’s so difficult to reign in the resentment when you’re down and out with chronic illness. I mean, what a waste of life. And what a shed ton of money I’ve already spent. And this is just stupid, stupid, stupid, I give up.

There are two parts to being a successful Negative Nancy: one focuses on everything that’s wrong, and the other zeros in on everything you don’t want in life.

Noticing what’s wrong with your body (and subsequently, your life) is easy. Enjoyable, even. It seems cathartic to hate on every pebble and thread that does you wrong. But all it really does is draw your attention to how much hurt there is in the world – giving you very little encouragement to come up and out of your illness. Why leave your cave if the outside is hostile and horrible?

Secondly, we tend to spend a great deal of energy thinking about what we don’t want, rather than what we do: I don’t want to be sick. I don’t want to feel bad. I don’t want to be tired. These thoughts only reinforce a negative mindset.

Instead, practice gratitude. Notice and be thankful for everything that’s going well for you right now – even if it’s only tiny things: I’m thankful for fresh air, that the sun is shining, and I am able to afford my medication.

Re-framing your thoughts into positive affirmations can help curtail the negative feedback loop of the don’t want mindset; I’m healing every day. I’m so grateful that my body is carrying me through this trial. I’m want to move toward a state of energy and vitality

Both practices will take effort – you are rewiring circuitry that has been functioning in a set way for a long time – but stick with it. The rewards will extend well beyond your health.

Existing Without Illness

Seems like a no-brainer, right? But the reality of living without illness can be a little heavy; counter-intuitive as it seems, it can even be straight up daunting and scary.

It boils down to two things: change and responsibility.

As a species, humans are wired to fear change, and are therefore creatures of habit. We create habit and ritual around everything we do, often without noticing. So, if you’ve been sick for months, years or even decades, you will have created a lifestyle around your condition that eventually becomes familiar and safe (even if it also feels unpleasant). Taking pills, going to appointments, avoiding social engagements, feeling sick when you eat bread, etc. You come to expect it.

By getting your health in order, the sudden prospect of not having these comforting patterns to lean on can upset the rhythm you may have (unconsciously) come to rely on. You may have more time, less structure, or more obligations. What do you do with yourself? How do you transition out of these patterns? What if you can’t cope?

This leads us to the second part: responsibility. Being ill often absolves you of having to take responsibility for your life: how you feel, what you do, why you can’t eat birthday cake, why you leave parties early, why you didn’t get a promotion. It gives you an almighty excuse for just about everything (and a heavy crutch to lean on when you feel hard done by).

However, being well opens up a whole cavern of responsibility you must now take upon yourself; deciding to set goals (and achieve them), accepting that you didn’t get the job, following your (big, scary) dreams, letting go of limiting beliefs and old relationships that no longer serve you.

Both of these things will challenge you, inside and out. Make you want to hide. Send you scurrying back to old (unhelpful) ways. You must prepare yourself for the changes that will come, and own your life without fear. These are both crucial aspects to creating a beautiful mindset and taking back your brain, body, and beauty forever.

Lots of tiny pink shoes with one blue ice skate in the middle

A Final Word on Healing

Maybe you’re not ready to find true healing yet. And you know what, that’s fine. It’s an important distinction to make. True healing will never come from a place of force or resentment. You’re not a bad person or a failure if you’re not ready to go all in.

Give yourself as much time and space as you need, so when you are ready, you can come at this thing with pistols drawn.

In the mean time, start cultivating your beautiful mindset. Explore who you are a little. Find out what you really want and where you want to go. From there, who knows?

And when you get there, when you decide it’s time to tame the beast, I’ll be here.

A doll walking a plastic lion on a leash

 

Tell me. Did you pick up parasites in Peru? Has chronic illness decimated your soul? Have you been healed by an ancient shaman or miracle worker? I want to know. 

Desperate for True Healing?

Book your FREE 15 minute appointment with my

LIFE SAVING Functional Medicine Practitioner Brie Wieselman today.**

You can also hop on over to get sexy, juicy, empowered healing and wellbeing from MegaBeauts

(FREE FREE FREE!)

**Brie is now my affiliate partner, so let her know who sent you and thank you for supporting us both.

I’d like to congratulate myself on twenty-eight years of avoiding magnified mirrors.

Really. And it’s not because I was never tempted, either. I assure you, I’ve been in my fair share of bathrooms where one was winking malignly at me from its angle poised position in life.

I mean, have you ever EVER seen yaself in one of them things?

Sister, truly, I ask you, what were you thinking

Hello Truth Bomb

I must now confess: On a summer road trip with my husband, we crashed in at a motel which was equipped with the aforementioned torture device.

You know what’s coming.

Exhausted, stuffed with weird travel food, cramped from hours of driving, thoroughly dehydrated, and otherwise not the least bit ready for my close up, my defences were down, my resolve collapsed, and I gave into the alluring depths of the mirror mirror on the wall.

The only remaining question is Why? Why oh why oh why?

A woman seeing her magnified face and scared of magnified mirrors

I can say with unbiased clarity, I was not the fairest of them all.

Wicked witch looking in the mirror

Do Magnified Mirrors Tell the Truth?

I met parts of me that I never knew existed.

I consider my brows to be one of the small victories in my life, but mother save us, how had I missed this wilderness?

However, that wasn’t even the half of the situation: cavernous pores full of sebaceous abundance, thirty-seven raven black hairs on my chin (skyscrapers in a desert, I’m telling you – not a single inconspicuous thing about them), a constellation of blackheads and blemishes, topped off neatly with the deepening crevices of an alarmingly ageing terrain.

Man with pink eyes gazing

A Reckoning

The question is, though, does the fact that I’ve never seen myself in microscopic Technicolor before now mean that all this time, the world has been harassed by my unkempt beard and cracked veneer?

Or does it mean that this mag monster shows you what no one sees, what no one could ever really see without a medical implement, but nevertheless tricks your self-confidence into shrinking down to the hundred calorie snack pack version of its formal glory just because it can?

Somebody, please tell me it’s not just me!

Tiny cereal box on a spoon

On the one hand, it may be a thoroughly practical utensil, saving us all from certain peril.

However, very firmly on the other hand, I want to know what the almighty driving force behind the conception of this contraption was.

Friend or foe, I wonder?

And, moreover, how does anyone get out of bed ever again after adhering one of these soul suckers to the mosaic tiled wall of their powder room?

How can you (quite literally) face yourself ever again, particularly if you know that face is afflicted with a certain kind of temporary but grotesque giantism?

Genuinely. I want to know.

Here I was faced in every sense of the word with all my vainest demons.

Will my husband stay with me or run off with the pretty receptionist who doesn’t have a moustache?

My Face Is so Disgusting

Not to mention my legs.

The cellulite.

Eugh.

I wish I could tell you that I enjoyed my ghastly reflection for what it was, set the whole place on fire, and then skipped merrily along without two cares in the world.

But I didn’t.

I wallowed.

And obsessed.

And relished.

It was like when you look at the sky at night and see a million stars, then look again and see two million, then again and this time for longer, and you realize that there’s actually hardly any sky at all – just a wimpy thin blanket thrown over an immeasurable infinity of celestial light.

That was me and my upper-most appendage as projected by that amplification apparatus – layers and layers of discovery lying in wait, just significantly less awe inspiring and substantially more troubling than the heavens.

Further still, to add sufficient insult to blunt-force injury, I went directly to town on de-constructing my dermal infrastructure for a solid half an hour  (or more – I deliberately avoided looking at the clock during this inquest) while my husband waited to brush his teeth (he was totally bushed and just wanted to go to bed, but I was fiendishly selfish in this exploit).

I picked, squeezed, scratched, stretched, plucked, pulled, distorted, and otherwise assaulted myself with brutal precision. I can report with scientifically conclusive evidence, this initiative did not improve the situation. At all.

The only consolation was a long motel shower with never ending hot water (which does, in fact, heal many hurts and mend many mistakes).

When I got out, the big eye was still watching me, but since it was fogged over with the steam, I easily turned my back on it, not noticing its chromy appeal, not caring one bit.

I vowed we were through, and we were.

The Beauty Mindset Gone Astray

Except for the part where I went back and did a bit more research and deep excavation. And a bit more. Just a couple more hairs. Just that spot there and the last one on my temple. And forehead.

The next morning, I embraced the long stretches of sunny, summer roads with a smattering of half moons stamped onto my cheeks and chin, where my fingernails had ruthlessly dug into my unsuspecting flesh.

Why do we subject ourselves to these things?

What are we looking to accomplish?

What fears are we hiding from?

The History of Mirrors

Perhaps the evolution of mirrors has always been a double edged sword – the implementation of such tools has allowed for us all to say the better to see you with my dear, but also Lord have mercy is that my face? in ever increasing degrees.

Where we may have originally used a serene pool of water to catch a gently undulating glimpse of ourselves, the first highly polished metal used by Egyptians to regard one’s visage must have come as a bit of a shock.

Versions of the first glass mirrors have been dated to as early as the first century AD, and I really feel for the folks who met their own surprising features for the first time in those new-fangled gadgets – hair raising in every sense of the word, I expect.

Barbie looking at her own reflection in water

Egyptian Barbie looking into a bronze mirror

Fifties Barbie looking in a mirror

So here we are today, and the modern mirror of magnification shines upon us with self destructive enlightenment.

My experience is just one in a long line of thousands of years and millions of people.

The Final Verdict for Magnified Mirrors

What to do?

Avoid.

I’m not fully prepared to be so contemporary.

I should like the closing of motel door #160 to mark the end of my brief romance with, but life-long divorce from, magnified mirrors.

If you have fallen victim to such vicious self flagellation, please, help yourself to some healing, hope filled hypnosis. It’s free

 

Tell me. Have you ever gone into the bathroom during a dinner date, ravaged your face by squeezing all your blackheads in the hideously lit mirror, and then had to (literally) face the consequences? Ever put on foundation at home that turned out to be all the wrong shade of orange in the work bathroom mirror? I want to know.