What do you want?

You ask yourself this question dozens of times a week.

When you’re out to lunch in the café with your best friend.

When you go to the movies.

When you go shoe shopping.

And yet, despite being able to choose, do you actually know what you want?

Just think about it for a mo.

Do You Know What You Really Want?

I’m not talking salmon pink lipstick or coral sunset shimmer. This isn’t ham and cheddar or turkey and provolone.

I mean, do you know yourself well enough to actually know what your deepest desires are?

Fact is, most people don’t.

Truth is, maybe you don’t either.

Avoiding What You Really Want

It’s easy, isn’t it? Switching off. Existing on autopilot. Going with the flow. Allowing the outside world to decide what’s fashionable, acceptable, and obtainable.

You end up eating at that stupid restaurant again – even though the food is awful and makes you feel ill – just because your friends couldn’t think of a better place.

Your closet is full of clothes you’re supposed to love, because they’re in all the fashion mags right now (but you never wear them).

You chose a solid and sensible career path that pays well and has a pension plan – but you hate your job and spend most of your day sneaking into social media, jealous and deflated.

The word "awful" in the middle of sprinkles

Maybe you’ll make it out the other end just fine. Perhaps you’ll retire early and move to Tahiti.

But more likely than not, you’ll end up miserable. Full of regrets. Covered in premature wrinkles and probably struggling with illness.

Maybe you’re already there and this is already you.

In fact, you may actually be repelling what you really want (through mindset, habits, and patterns).

Yikes.

How to Know How to Want What You Want

Knowing what you really want in life isn’t a simple case of choosing pink socks over blue and deciding you’re a vegetarian.

Pink and blue colored pencils

It’s unflinching introspection.

It’s examining your failures.

It’s pinpointing your limiting beliefs.

It’s noticing your own patterns.

It’s being honest with yourself and allowing the truth to rise to the surface.

Sometimes knowing what you really want is painful.

In 2015 I had a near death experience that revealed some pretty shocking things. All sorts of stuff came out of the woodwork, revealing that 27 years of knowing myself didn’t mean I knew a thing. Because I’d never really looked. I’d never really wanted to see.

I’m going out on a limb here: I believe that the number one key to happiness is knowing what you want, devising a plan to get there, and enjoying the journey of pursuit.

The same with healing and wellness. You’ve got to get mega clear about it. 

(That is to say: not avoiding the truth, going with the crowd, and fretting every time life goes belly up.)

You can go off and get your happy pills somewhere else, if you’d prefer. But I’m getting juicy with this stuff, so stick around if you want to get real honey honey.

Capsules with sprinkles inside - happy pills

The Magic of Knowing What You Want

1. Find Yourself

The first stop is checking out the Find Who You Really Are guide. I go through this check list at least once a year to make sure I’m staying clear and centered. It gets right down to the truth of the matter.

4 headless dolls with a question mark above their necks

2. Spend Time Alone

I suggest adding this to your routine as a regular practice of self-love if it’s not already in your repertoire. However, specifically for this exercise, pencil in some serious alone time to allow yourself to cultivate a clear picture from within. No phones. No ear buds. You may even choose to do a mindfulness, meditation, or hypnosis session to stimulate your subconscious mind into action (that’s where all the deepest stuff lives).

3. Write It Out

Write out 100 things you’d like to do in your life. Don’t hold back. Make lists or journals or notes. I love pen and paper, but however it flows for you, just get those thoughts out. Don’t judge. Just observe them. What a wonderful victory to be in this space of openness and forgiveness with yourself.

4. Get Clear

Boil your ideas right down to concise goals. Be clear and specific. I’d like to become a beautician by 2020. I want to overcome my digestive issues and teach aerobics within 2 years. I’d like to get married in Spain by the time I’m 30.

5. Organize

Avoid overwhelm and burnout by organizing your notes in order of preference. Your number one goal should be the thing you want most in the whole world.

A vintage woman's face

Devising a Plan

1. Celebrate!

Hurrah! Now you know what you want. That’s amazing. Give yourself credit for taking the time to find those gems.

2. Settle Your Subconscious

You may be dealing with all sorts of background noise from your subconscious mind; old stories, limiting beliefs, bad experiences, rough memories. These things can get in the way if you don’t tend your mental garden. Refer to my published article on finerminds.com,

Best Manifestation Advice From 3 Powerful Women: A Real Life Guide to Living the Dream.

3. Face Fear Strategically

Fear plays an important role in life; it protects us from many dangers and much harm. The problem is when it goes overkill, and we hand over control to its maniac diligence. Knowing what we want is scary; getting what we want can be absolutely terrifying.

Manage your fears wisely. Hypnosis has changed my life, but there are many therapies (that you can do at home, for free) that will save you years of self-sabotage, procrastination, and blow out.

A woman practising hypnosis for Knowing What You Want

4. Plan

Your desires are only as good as the action you put behind them. Many people allow their dreams and desires to smother them because they get overwhelmed.

Look at your top goals. Think about how you want to feel. What has to happen to get to those places and feelings? Doesn’t matter if the list is miles long; one step at a time will get you there. Write out a detailed plan that you can begin to take action on when you’re ready.

5. Act

Now you have everything in place, begin! You may start with renting a library book, sending an email, or doing some research. Small is good! In fact, it helps to create a sense of safety and progress for your subconscious mind to feel secure in (and since it’s in charge of 97% of your actions, you definitely want your subconscious sista to feel happy).

Enjoying the Journey

1. Stay Centered

Go back through all these steps at least once or twice a year (or whenever you feel a little wayward). Not only will it give you fresh perspective, but it will encourage you to stay on track and remind you of why you’re doing this in the first place.

We all fall off the wagon from time to time; no judgement. A friendly nudge is all you need.

2. Stay Grateful

Every moment is progress. And, as Louise Hay says, “Every experience is a success.” When you re-frame your life with these words, you can only ever be thankful for every moment, good or (seemingly) bad.

Find a gratitude practice that works for you. Maybe share three things you’re grateful for today with your partner. Or keep a gratitude journal. Or recite a prayer of thanks every time you take your supplements. 

3. Be Open to Surprises

Barbie holding a party favour

There’s this fairly toxic idea around the concept of manifesting that says you can “have everything you want,” like it’s some sort of mail-order catalogue system. In one sense that’s true (if you align your mindset correctly), but it largely gets thrown around as “everything is going to happen exactly the way you expect” – which is not only not true, but likely to lead to disappointment and burnout.

On your journey to getting what you want, you must remain open to unexpected versions of events cropping up. You will only be disappointed here if you choose to be. The alternative is that you might actually end up accepting something far greater than your original version.

If you don’t get the job of your dreams, bear in mind that the less dreamy version may be the one that is meant for you, packed with happiness and fulfillment. Level your expectations by being open.

4. Have Faith and be Patient

Gabby Bernstein says, “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.” And by “certain of the outcome,” she basically means that you have the confidence to believe your dreams are worthy of coming true.

You believe you will be able to eat normally again.

You believe you will break free of habits and patterns.

You believe you will overcome your body-image issues.

You believe in yourself. For real. For keeps. Even when it’s crap and hard and horrible. You just keep on.

Spend a little time cultivating these beliefs each day. Seed the feeling of victory in your heart and mind, and water that seed each day. Say a prayer. Meditate on it. Light a candle and set an intention. Visualize it.

Getting What You Want

A pink sky

It’s not magic; it’s method.

And it’s not reserved for the privileged or star-crossed few.

Getting what you want is a journey.

What shoes you wear on that journey are up to you.

What paths you follow on that journey are up to you.

What joy you find on that journey is up to you.

Get happy.

Get well.

Get beautiful.

Yes yes yes.

 

Tell me. What amazing dreams are you breathing life into? How have you defeated reality and become the magician of your own manifestation? What’s your secret to happiness? I want to know. 

 

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It’s all out of control. Bills due. Deadlines passed. Appointments missed. Brain baked.

 

All you can do is hide under your duvet, binge watching the world spiral away from you.

Barbie hiding under a duvet

Disconnected. Dissatisfied. Disillusioned.

 

If you’re not bored, you’re scared. And if you’re not scared, you’re absolutely terrified.

 

Or worse: you feel like you’re barely existing at all.

 

What are you even doing with your life?

 

It’s the question that so often gets asked…but have you ever taken the time to really answer it? Spent even five minutes feeling the weight of it in your hands?

 

It’s the ultimate soul bearing exercise; spelling out our fears, doubts and inadequacies in bright neon lights. Most people shy away from the truth of it.

A teal background with FEAR spelled out three times

 

Not knowing means not having to take responsibility. It means you can sit back and blame life for all the awful circumstances that tie you down and trip you up.

 

I’ll never lose the weight because I’m sick and tired.

Nothing ever goes my way.

Everything is out of my control, so why bother?

I’m too ugly to attract my ideal partner, so I’ll be alone forever.

 

You make friends with disappointment and bunk down for a long life of short sightedness.

 

A Better Way

What if there was a better way, though? What if slogging through, numb and despondent, wasn’t the only option?

Chances are you’d say, ha ha very funny. Get real.

Go on. Say it. I don’t mind.

Because I got the truth serum right up in here, and if you don’t want a taste, go on and whine to ya mama like always.

Ah, see.

Now you want it.

Alright, I’m gonna sock it to ya, butcha gotta be ready for it:

Conscious living.

Uh huh. I said it. I’m gonna say it again.

Conscious living.

Chew on that for a minute while I bring you up to speed on what I mean.

What is Conscious Living?

I know it sounds a little pretentious, but take it from a girl who grew up in a trailer; it ain’t.

Conscious living is simply choosing to live with meaning and purpose.

Not just when you are on vacation in Greece. Not just on social media where you can doctor your life to appear meaningful and exciting. Not just for Christmas and birthdays.

I mean all the time. Choosing for every moment in every old day to hold meaning and purpose. Making a conscious choice to connect.

When you make dinner. When you commute. When you buy new clothes. When you put on make-up. When you take medication and go to the gym.

Conscious living doesn’t require that you put a disco ball in the kitchen and dance from dawn till dusk (though you can – no judgements). It just means bringing your mind into the moment. Deciding to care. Noticing the robins singing as you take out the trash. Turning the radio up when stuck in a traffic jam, and being thankful you have a car in the first place.

You are free to find purpose and meaning in everything; your breath, your coffee, your nail polish. Everything.

Freedom and Responsibility

Living consciously also means taking responsibility. For your choices and actions, and how they effect your life and others’. Not blaming, but learning. Not failing, but pivoting.

 

It’s paying attention to how you feel when you eat. Where the food came from and how it impacts the earth. How the chemicals in your cosmetics may be hurting your health – or the rain forest. Where you direct your energy and what it manifests.

Red lipstick in the forest

But living consciously is also living in freedom. Freedom to see the beauty and wonder. Freedom to connect. Freedom to consider the deeper meaning and purpose. Freedom from getting distracted by the same old junk everyone else is obsessed with. Freedom from complaining about the weather and traffic and long lines. 

How to Connect to Your Life with Purpose and Meaning

This will be different for everyone, so don’t allow any judgement or self-consciousness to creep in. Let your truth to flow.

Start by connecting to yourself and Find Who You Really Are; it’s an awesome guide to help you unearth the beautiful gems of your soul and kick start conscious living.

 

A headless Barbie with a question mark above it

 

Take it further and get super juicy with 58 ways to Save the World With Your Brain, Body, and Beauty. Total inspiration for living a life full of meaning and purpose and wonderfulness.

A glamorous woman sewing in the forest

If you’re ready, bring on the hot sauce and learn How to Be a Beautiful, Wild, Savage Thing.

 

a trip-tic of a woman wearing a grass nest on her head

Live Your Life Right Now

Find your purpose and meaning.

Don’t wait.

Connect now.

Breathe it in.

Life is waiting for you.

Live the heck out of it.

 

Tell me. Did you have a life changing experience when atop a Peruvian mountain? What draws you in and makes you feel so deeply connected to this life? How are you changing the status quo? I want to know. 

Desperate for True Healing?

Book your FREE 15 minute appointment with my

LIFE SAVING Functional Medicine Practitioner Brie Wieselman today.**

You can also hop on over to get sexy, juicy, empowered healing and wellbeing from MegaBeauts

(FREE FREE FREE!)

**Brie is now my affiliate partner, so let her know who sent you and thank you for supporting us both.