Healing Through the Holidays Part 3: Celebrating without Food and Treating Yourself

(without Cheating!)

 

Three paper doll girls standing on a pie with a Christmas background

Honestly, you don’t need another thing to think about.

You’re already using all totally alternative ingredients.

You’re already doing yoga and chi gong and rubbing essential oils into your soul.

You’re already spending a ton of money on supplements and organics and toxin free soap.

What more do you have to do?

Why does it need to be harder than that?

How could it possibly be more complicated?

It’s funny, that.

How the holidays just amplify everything.

Some good. Some bad. Some insane.

But when you’re on your healing journey, the holidays can feel huge – in a not so great way.

Healing Through the Holidays Part 3 is the antidote to this – Read parts one and two for the comprehensive survival guide. LINKS HERE!

1. Stick to Your Guns

A still from Brief Encounter of a man and woman staring at each other

What a sham.

This is the one time of year went Auntie Aileen makes her famous caramel cake.

The smell of gingerbread makes you feel like a kid again.

You love nothing more than spiced wine and a country market.

And you can’t.

Because you’re being punished with this stupid diet and meds and all you can think about is what you aren’t allowed to eat and do – which is pretty much everything worth eating and doing.

Deprivation is painful.

Feeling left-out and restricted at a time of supposed celebration is lame.

But when it’s over (and it will end), and everyone’s gained 15 pounds, run their bank accounts dry, and their skin is a nasty mess from so much toxic overload, you will be shining.

It is always worth it to stick to your guns. Society will ensure that the holidays happen again, just as always, every year – so skipping one or two seasons of excess, honestly, will only do you good.

  1. Create and refer to a healing vision board, goals, and visualization practice to bolster your resolve when the cheese dip is calling your name. Keeping up a solid ritual with them all year-round will make it easier when times of candied-crises arise.

2. Give Yourself a Healing Treat (or Ask for One!)

A glamorous woman in a gown on a train platform

If you’re feeling glum about all the stuff you’re missing this season, take the helm and give yourself a healing treat.

It may be dried mango trail mix or home-made soap.

Or, if you’re mega fancy, an infrared sauna session, holistic facial, aromatherapy session, etc.

Bliss out in restorative ways to remind yourself that you are healing quickly, comfortably, and completely.

It’s not necessarily going to be obvious to others that you’d rather not get the usual tray of brownies, cocktail mixers, and cheese board for Christmas.

If you’re in the habit of gift exchange, it’s OK to say that you’re shifting gears this year and trying something new.

If it feels right, you might suggest alternatives like essential oils, a body brush, or organic fruit – all small, easy, and inexpensive options.

3. Reinvent the Holidays

A black and white photo of a woman holding a leafy stem with her silhouette cut out and replaced with pine branches

Stop insisting that festivities happen in the same way as they have for a hundred years.

Holidays are often just old habits on repeat – eating too much, seeing people you’d rather not, huge amounts of waste, and a lot of joyous expectation.

I know I’m being cynical – but I’m not sorry.

Whatever you choose to believe or hold dear, you can opt out of garbage.

You can define the parameters of your celebrations.

Ditch the old useless stuff.

Begin fresh.

Change.

You don’t have to go, do, be, accept, and deal with anything.

Sometimes, traditions suck.

Get rid.

Move on.

Reinvent your meals, your gifts, your parties, everything.

If your holidays are not healing experiences, it’s definitely time to capital C Change the channel.

4. Celebrate Without Food

A vintage woman holding a huge holiday cocktail

If a specific dietary change is a big part of your healing protocol, the first thing you’ll notice is how everything revolves around food.

Everything.

It’s an obsession.

Obviously, the holidays are the mega hulking steroid version of this phenomenon.

And if you are choosing to avoid certain foods or groups, it can be a social shoot-out.

But a useful (and little known) fact here, is that it doesn’t have to revolve around face-stuffing.

You’re not going to change anyone’s feasting traditions by opting out, but you can get festive in millions of other ways that do not involve fine china and mystery sausages.

Shift the focus from food and get creative about different times, places, and types of festive fiascos.

5. Holidays on Your Own Terms

A black and white photo of a woman pouring drinks for children

Host the kind of celebration you’d like to have – doesn’t mean you have to cook a 12 course meal and chop down a tree and hand-make stocking stuffers.

Go for a holistic massage and a juice bar instead of dinner and cocktails (they’ll probably end up costing about the same).

Or take a long walk and hang out bird seed bombs for hungry critters.

Volunteer at a women’s shelter.

Get invigorated about seeing life through a healing lens – which is with true gratitude, energy, and connection.

Last and Most Importantly

You deserve holidays that are full of healing.

Big, shiny, crazy, wonderful times with all the good stuff.

Otherwise…what’s the point?

You don’t have to spend a fortune, see a psychiatrist, or check into rehab.

It’s actually really simple. 

And if it’s not simple, it should be – so calm down, pare down, and sit down.

Finished with Healing through the Holidays Part 3? Hit up Part 1 and Part 2, and look out for Part 4 in a couple weeks!

You got this. 

xoxo

 

 

Want more of the good stuff? There are few things in this life that actually produce results – and this is where it starts. Get my FREE guide,

7 Steps to Healing Success

You’re here for a reason. Listen to your gut.

A woman wearing a berry crown on the cover of Seven Steps to Healing Success

 

 

 

What the heck is all this hypnosis voodoo witchcraft malarkey?

You think it’s stupid hippie crap.

You’d rather take pills and keep hurting because that’s what you’re familiar with.

Your mom thinks it’s devil worship or something.

You’re too embarrassed to ask about it because it’s just too weird and the doctor said there wasn’t any evidence or whatever.  

Actually it’s all science. But I prefer to call it Mental Magic, myself.

 

And I know why you constantly self sabotage.

And that you’re so self conscious you won’t allow your photo to be taken.

And why you hate your body for being sick and bloated and complicated.

I know that you live in fear of failure, have had a complex about your cellulite since you were twelve, and hate all perfect yoga princesses on Instagram (while secretly wishing you were one).

Believe me, I know.

A woman wearing a funky headdress to show Hypnosis can be used for self love and positive thoughts

Healing Hypnosis Can Help You Get Better for FREE

It helped me overcome over 25 years of suffering:

    • I used to puke junk food into my neighbor’s bushes and pretend I wasn’t bulimic

 

    • I’ve spent two decades battling acne and clinging to the mirror’s opinion with incredible determination.

 

    • I’ve been a bad tempered, foul mouthed, insulting, ungracious bitch for most of my marriage.

 

    • After ten years of chronic illness, I found out in 2015 that I had life threatening parasites, SIBO, candida overgrowth, adrenal fatigue, hormone dyregulation, and gene mutations that caused mitochondrial dysfunction and chronic fatigue.

 

    • I’ve spent years racked with guilt, shame, inadequacy, fear, and debilitating doubt.

 

    • Several failed career attempts left me angry, confused, and making next to no money for many years.

 

    • For most of my adult life, I have been depressed, furious, judgemental, anxious, aimless, critical, and largely living in the head space that life sucks and shit happens. 
      Hypnosis can help with eating disorders

    And that’s just for starters.

    But it means I’ve been where you are. I know.

    I ain’t no spirit mama whose holier-than-now-presence means I exist above you in a plane of ethereal superiority.

    Nah.

    I be 100% flesh and blood of the sinner.

    This means I am uniquely qualified to tell you that the bottom of the barrel sucks the big one and there’s no need to go down there to see for yourself.

    I’ve been to the valley of the shadow of death. I know how her breath smells. I can already tell that hypnosis is for you – even if you’re scared.

  • Is Healing Hypnosis for You?

Before you bunk off and decide hypnosis from a back-alley peddler is pure hokum, I need you to answer a great big resounding NO to every single one of these questions:

Do you:

  • Feel like you’ve been sick for a very long time and nothing seems to be able to work at making you well again?
  • Feel like life is harsh, pointless, lonely, and that you’ve been sold false hope and fake dreams?
  • Feel like you are stuck, barely living, just going through the motions, not caring, not connecting? 
  • Think you’ll never be pretty, thin, smart, capable, strong, or qualified enough to peruse your dreams, meet the perfect partner, or achieve your goals?
  • Scroll through your social media feeds several times a day, only to feel gross, depleted, envious, and depressed?
  • Get hung up on the opinions, comments, or criticisms of others?
  • Have fears that you simply can’t shake, no matter how many self-help books you read?
  • Dwell on your inadequacies, picking every aspect of your body apart with harsh criticism?
  • Replay failures and embarrassments in your head, over and over?
  • Allow your worst nightmare scenarios to take over your imagination and prevent you from living your best life?
  • Doubt yourself, second guess your intuition, and tangle yourself up in cycles of sabotage?
  • Dwell on past hurts, experiences, relationships, or traumas?

Did you answer NO to all of them?

If not, congratulations on passing the test.

Welcome to being human.

hypnosis for improving mindset

The good part is, this means you are a double-bubble candidate for hypnosis healing.

For GETTING BETTER FOR FREE

Your brain is screaming for help.

It doesn’t mean to…but it’s keeping you sick.

Your emotions, reactions, and beliefs are desperate for realignment.

You are so totally ready for an uprising of preconceptions, a revolution of understanding and miracles that shake your weary bones to the morrow.

Maybe my mental magic isn’t for you. Totally cool. Be blessed, and find spirit, energy, health and healing that inspires the change you desire.

However, I just have to say, I know exactly how to tap into every single one of these issues you’ve faced.

Just throwing it out there.

Here’s my proposition to you:

Try my hypno. 

Just try it for 15 minutes everyday, for two weeks.

It’s free.

It’s specifically designed for you.

 

If you’ve got a spare 15 minutes each day, and are interested in sexy, juicy, empowered healing and wellbeing, building confidence, and perusing your dreams then I can teach you how to use 1% of your day to totally transform the other 99%.

You can spare 1%. Don’t pretend.

(Tony Robins says, “If you don’t have ten minutes, you don’t have a life.” I’m tacking on an extra 5 and socking it to ya!)

How healing hypnosis has helped me (and can help you, too):

  • I’ve come to a place of peace, happiness, gratitude and acceptance in my body (so huge for a former bulimic).
  • I have found profound physical healing from carousel of maladies way quicker than by any other method.
  • My self confidence has improved beyond my imagination and I have so much love for my bod, my appearance, and the process of aging.
  • I’ve become a nicer, calmer, happier, MUCH more patient human, connected to my purpose and energy. 
  • I’ve unexpectedly opened up a creative cavern, and my artistic endeavors have sallied forth with more ideas, passion, and energy than I ever allowed myself previously.
  • I’ve become more open, loving, and understanding in all relationships, especially my marriage (my husband emphatically concurs).
  • Significantly decreased stress, tension, anxiety and depression in my mind, work, and relationships.
  • It has heightened my intuition and insight about myself, others, and the situations I face.

I continue to add to this repertoire of subconscious successes all the time (I’ve been studying this stuff for years, but saw significant results within about a month) of committing to daily practice.

Anecdotal, you cry! Poppycock of the highest order!

Maybe. That’s up to you to decide. But I believe in hypnosis. I really do. And the fact is, it’s backed up by science. But you don’t have to take my patchwork word for it. I would whole-heartedly encourage you to do your research and get informed.

Whether or not you choose to involve yourself with my content is neither here nor there.

But you need to get a handle on yourself somehow.

Hypnosis to help your mindset improveOr this will happen to you

Your anxiety.

Your fear.

Your doubt.

The cold harsh feelings of isolation and nothingness that you can’t even describe.

The old hurts and ugly history and frantic relationships.

And you can. Starting today. Right now.

Open your heart and mind to this journey of self discovery. Understanding. Beautiful, meaningful release.

That which we focus on becomes us.

Let’s focus.

Be Beautiful Today.
xoxo

p.s.  Already convinced? Here’s some tips for How to Supercharge Your Self-Love Hypnosis for Quicker, Better Results.

 

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LIFE SAVING Partner and Functional Medicine Practitioner Brie Wieselman today.**

Brie Wieselman

**Brie is my affiliate partner, so let her know who sent you and thank you for supporting us both.

 

 

New to this whole healing hypnosis thing?

Not really sure what the heck you’re doing?

Skeptical that it even works?

A little scared that it might actually work?

Not to worry, honey.

Here are some solid tips that I have applied in my own life-changing practice that will really help you get the most out of your dedication.

A woman practicing self-love Hypnosis in a field of daffodils

1. Keep Going

Before I knew anything about hypnosis, I went to see a hypnotist see if it was all just a load of tosh. My skeptical brain was fully engaged and I was prepared to debunk the whole lot.

 

During our first session, almost nothing happened. It was comfortable and she was lovely, but I didn’t feel different and there was no “going under” – which I took to mean it was all bunk.

 

However, I went back many times, in the spirit of adventure. At the end of the third session I suddenly realized I was waking up — at exactly the moment I was instructed to. What did it all mean?!

 

Essentially, you are working toward relaxing your mind to a state of total blissed-out peace (this is the trance state or “going under” as they like to say), putting the analytical aspect of the conscious mind to sleep for a while. At this point, your subconscious mind is open to suggestion.

 

However, because we are so disconnected from our subconscious mind, and place so much emphasis on the logical intake of information, it can take several sessions of relaxation to actually penetrate the walls of your conscious mind. Your conscious mind is scared of everything, and wants to think and think and think and think it over. Calming that baby down can take a little time.

 

Point is, don’t be disheartened if you’re several sessions in and still struggling to get into that sweet spot. Conditioning yourself to relax in this way is a HUGE part of the healing process, and not to be rushed.

2. Lay Down

There’s no hard and fast rule for how you position yourself for hypno – in truth, it’ll have a positive impact if you were hanging from a tree. But hypnosis is most effective when you are in an ultimate state of relaxation – this removes the barriers your logical, conscious mind would throw up to prevent entry of new ideas.

A lady laying down for best self-love hypnosis experience

Whether it’s your bed, yoga mat, sleeping bag or reclined car seat, lay back and allow for maximum chill vibes to settle in. You will be more likely to enter into the trance-like state where your mind is most impressionable and open to positive change.

 

3. Banish Distractions

Easier said than done, I know. But it’s non-negotiable.

 

Anything that takes you out of the flow will bust up the efficacy of your practice. Phone rings: boom, you’re out of it. TV on: no way on earth you’re going to be able to focus while Don Draper sweeps her into his bed.

 

Find a way to gift yourself a complete and uncompromised 15 mins every day (remember, that’s only 1%) and dedicate your undivided attention to making the mental magic happen.

4. Do it in the Morning or Evening

You are most impressionable either early in the morning or right before you go to bed. Your conscious mind is sleepiest and least likely to resist your re-programming efforts at those times.

Establish a morning or evening routine (or both if you’re a total boss), and you’ll find yourself looking forward to the wake-up call or lullaby.

5. Do it Everyday

Do you want your problems fixed today or ten Christmases from now? Hypnosis will give back what you put into it. Dedicating 1% of your day, every day, will open up the other 99% into a bigger, brighter, happier, kick-ass party.

 

Up to you.

 

Skipping happens. But like anything, consistency is crucial. Repetition repetition repetition. Repeat.

Barbie scheduling in self-love hypnosis for best results

 

6. Allow it to Work

Hypnosis has a way of working it’s sneaky mental magic, even on the most skeptical. However, your ride will be smoother and your results supercharged if you simply open yourself up to the process to the healing process

 

Open your heart. Open your mind.

To the investment of time.

To change.

To results.

 

You may find that it really isn’t for you, which is great. Self-awareness is one of the most important aspects of true healing. Knowing something doesn’t work for you is valuable knowledge.

 

However, if you go into this with the smelly attitude and looking for the worst, it’s likely you’ll have a shit time of things and move on, unchanged.

 

Open your heart. Open your mind.

7. Make a To-Do List

It’s often the case that when we stop a moment to calm our mind, the thoughts go ape. A whirlpool of frenzied needs, wants, worries, and memories flood your head space, making you feel overwhelmed and out of control – precisely when you just want five minute’s bloody peace.

 

It can be tempting at this juncture to say, maybe I will try again later (which means never), when I have less on my mind (which will be never).

To do list for self-love hypnosis success

Hypno works by laying new, empowering, constructive thoughts into the foundation of your mind. If you’ve got a wrecking yard of rusty thoughts to get through first, you are just making things harder for yourself. Just get it out, you’ll feel so much better

 

Do yourself a favor and unload your mind before you try and plant new concepts into the jumble. Take a few minutes to pluck all the whooshing thoughts out of your mind cloud, and put them to paper. That way you won’t forget, and can come back to them when you are refreshed.

8. Move On

If you feel like you’ve conquered an issue, awesome. Move on. That is the whole point of healing hypnosis – that you affect lasting change through repetition. You can spend as much time as you want focusing on a particular issue or set of troubles you have – that may be weeks, months or years. No right or wrong here. This should be life enhancing. No need to rush or put pressure on yourself with arbitrary time lines.

 

If you are human like me, there will always be a little niggling something that needs seeing to. So once you feel like you’re confident enough to wear a bikini in public, start looking at other areas of your life where you need a tune up.

 

You can always come back round to give yourself the odd pep talk in a particular area if necessary. It’s OK to revisit. Illness, stress, and trauma can make our old ways bubble to the surface, so don’t feel like you are a failure or have done something wrong if this happens.

 

Listen with kindness, accept with love, act with purpose.

THAT’S IT

So that’s it, honey.

Now you know all the secrets, there are no excuses.

Now you can be a healing hypnosis queen in the sky.

You can find your peace.

You can find your strength.

You can find your way.

So be beautiful today.

 

Tell me. Did you get hypnotised at the fair and think you looked like a baked chicken for two weeks? Did you hook up with a hot dude at the bar only to find out he seduced you with his witch granny’s love potion?   

PS. If you haven’t already and you’re a total boss lady, then you can hop right in and get your

FREE Exquisite Wellness Healing Hypnosis now.

Because you are one extraordinary mama. 

A woman sitting in a field of daffodils on the cover of the e-book Get Better for Free by Anna Kay

 

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Let me get this straight: you’ve worked in a cosmetic clinic?

Yes.

But doesn’t that mean you’re a fraud and not practicing what you preach?

Sure, if you want to get nasty about it.

But I’d like to put this contradiction in terms to bed, if you don’t mind.

A banana tucked in bed

What is beauty, really?

Beauty is intrinsically linked to honesty; the deception of the disingenuous will always blow their own cover in the end.

Obviously, the definition of beauty extends well beyond our superficial ablutions (something I have a lot of time for, vanity being my favorite vice).

It’s who makes us feel beautiful.

It’s who helps us to help ourselves be better, open, honest versions of who we are.

Things and people and places that unlock the tiny, magical chambers of our hearts that so easily get sealed up and forgotten about.

I mean that.

It ain’t just lip service, ya’ll.

But, back to the accusation.

The Truth About Cosmetic Clinics

Yes, I spent 5 minutes working in a cosmetic clinic. And I hated it.

I love the beauty industry. Skin and products and health and science and creativity and personal expression and freedom and magic.

But every day I saw men and women coming in, desperate to become someone new. Someone they’re not. Trying to plump up their happiness with fillers and smooth over their problems with Botox.

Maybe you know someone like that.

Maybe it’s you. 

And, of course, when the needle didn’t provide the seismic shift they were after, it was inevitably a short coming of either myself or the clinic. The hostility!

I’ve never known such deep dissatisfaction, and I’ve never had the emotional baggage of the world dumped so unceremoniously at my feet, expecting a permanent fix now now now now now.

Whoa.

Honestly.

The energy of that place, those people. Toxic. Not one tiny bit beautiful. I had no idea beauty was surrounded by so much fear, self loathing, doubt, and shame. 

It’s a real blow, because I went to the trouble of training, and have all the enthusiasm in the world for this stuff, and yet, something was off. Off by miles and miles, in fact. Suddenly, being in the fully fledged cosmetic industry was distinctly hideous.

and old woman struggling with the psychological darkness of beauty and trying to use a serum to become young again

The Psychological Darkness of Beauty

Originally, when I set about pursuing this career path, I had a very idealistic mindset; I believed that if you pulled the trigger on something small, it would have the power to affect much greater change than the sum of it’s molecules, which could ultimately lead to more beautiful world all the way around.

You tidy up your bikini line, remove a mole or two, or gently lift an ageing jawline, and miraculously offer someone a fresh perspective and a shiny new bow of confidence to wear in their hair.

They in turn release the positive vibes, and the beat goes on. Sounds good, no?

Ha.

Turns out, the equation is much more complicated than all that. It’s a balancing act. Very tricky.

Removing Mrs. Hove’s mole is not just about a radiotherapy device rearranging skin cells into a more favorable configuration.

It’s about her husband and the way he looks at young Sylvia at the market. And the way Sylvia looks back at him.

When Alice the librarian decides to have full Hollywood laser hair removal, it’s not just because she’s a kick-ass feminist with intelligent political opinions, who believes women should be able to handle their bodies however they please; she’ll never forget how humiliated she was when she lost her virginity at 16 to that Steven who thought pubic hair was disgusting.

The tricky balance of beauty and the mind with a hippo balancing on the tip of red lip stick

So you see, really I needed to have gotten a degree in psychology before I got anywhere near this stuff.

Where the Mind Meets the Body

When someone came in asking to become Barbie, I never rubbished them. 

However.

It does makes me sad to think that people can’t just accept what they look like. That I can’t just accept what I look like. But deeper still, that the details we hold against ourselves are often just metaphors for far more sinister insecurities that a syringe is never going to touch.

Old stories.

Deep hurts.

Terrible secrets.  

Yet at the same time, I love the freedom and am fascinated by the process which brings people to seek physical changes.

I’m about as vain as they come, and certainly not above accepting a helping hand myself; I would never begrudge anyone whether they decide to go full throttle plastic or sun kissed hippie. I believe beauty is art, and firmly in the eye of the beholder.

So, the truth is, I’m a mess. I’m all over the shop and there’s no telling whether I like it or hate it or am confused or sad or tickled to pieces by all this beauty nonsense.

Creating a Beautiful Mindset

But, let’s get real kids. That’s what this is all about.

Most people want to improve the way they look, and my ethos is: life is short. Do it.

But DO NOT do it without asking yourself the hard questions first.

Are you running from something?

Hiding from something?

Is this a choice made out of fear and self loathing?

Can you back away and take an objective look at your motives? Can you honestly say you are making a decision from the right perspective? Do you have your beauty mindset in alignment?

Please, go forward with love and blessings. Your choices are sacred. Know yourself. I accept all.

But don’t get consumed by it.

Don’t expect it to change your pathological behaviors, make your blow up doll an actual living husband, or suddenly create time and space in a forever perfect continuum.

Beauty is full of psychological darkness, and we all have to explore ourselves deeply and honestly.

But if Botox is going to fill your balloon with a little happy helium, then fill away, my friend.

Balloon filled with happy helium

Finding That Balance

Our desire to be attractive is biological and makes a lot of sense.

I don’t think anyone should be punished for augmenting their looks, (although motives are an important factor to consider –Botox is jolly nice, but it’s not a marriage counsellor).

And I don’t think anyone should be vilified for keeping it natural, and just letting the wind blow where it may.

It’s all valid.

However, I’m over the artifice. Fuck off with the false pretenses and the over-indulgent selfies.

I’m over it.

If you’ve had a boob job, fine, but don’t pretend you were born with that much silicone in your body.

If you’ve had your lips plumped and your brows tattooed, fuck off trying to make everyone feel bad about theirs. You only reveal how insecure you really are, and that you wasted your money trying to convince yourself you were better than you feel. 

I’m 100% cool with anyone who wants to enhance their beauty in any way.

Just leave the bullshit at the door.

A squash pretending to have amazingly big boobs and haunted by the psychological darkness of beauty

Maintaining a Beautiful Mindset

Changing something about your appearance may be considered a confession of weakness.

Vanity.

Self delusion.

Lack of self confidence.

Maybe it is. And maybe your choices offend others.

Or threaten them, even.

There’s an awful lot of hate out there. 

But for me, it’s an opportunity to choose empowerment.

And that’s what I want from and for everyone.

Be honest.

Take control.

Stay honest.

Let’s create beauty for love. Let’s create a beautiful mindset that serves our highest purpose and those around us. 

That makes you feel good and is inclusive. 

Take back our brains because we smart mamas. Take back our bodies because we strong bitches. Take back our beauty because we own that shit. 

Super-natural or super-glam.

No shame.

Just be real about it.

Instead of approaching beauty with expectations for yourself and others, join me in choosing to sally up to it with a sense of curiosity.

Ready for True Healing?

Book your FREE 15 minute appointment with my

LIFE SAVING Functional Medicine Practitioner Brie Wieselman today.**

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**Brie is now my affiliate partner, so let her know who sent you and thank you for supporting us both.

 

Tell me. Have you gone to lengths to change your bod into something that other’s see as unacceptable? Do you secretly want to be Dolly Parton? Have you had a procedure done that your partner doesn’t know about? Why? I want to know.