Healing Through the Holidays Part 3: Celebrating without Food and Treating Yourself

(without Cheating!)

 

Three paper doll girls standing on a pie with a Christmas background

Honestly, you don’t need another thing to think about.

You’re already using all totally alternative ingredients.

You’re already doing yoga and chi gong and rubbing essential oils into your soul.

You’re already spending a ton of money on supplements and organics and toxin free soap.

What more do you have to do?

Why does it need to be harder than that?

How could it possibly be more complicated?

It’s funny, that.

How the holidays just amplify everything.

Some good. Some bad. Some insane.

But when you’re on your healing journey, the holidays can feel huge – in a not so great way.

Healing Through the Holidays Part 3 is the antidote to this – Read parts one and two for the comprehensive survival guide. LINKS HERE!

1. Stick to Your Guns

A still from Brief Encounter of a man and woman staring at each other

What a sham.

This is the one time of year went Auntie Aileen makes her famous caramel cake.

The smell of gingerbread makes you feel like a kid again.

You love nothing more than spiced wine and a country market.

And you can’t.

Because you’re being punished with this stupid diet and meds and all you can think about is what you aren’t allowed to eat and do – which is pretty much everything worth eating and doing.

Deprivation is painful.

Feeling left-out and restricted at a time of supposed celebration is lame.

But when it’s over (and it will end), and everyone’s gained 15 pounds, run their bank accounts dry, and their skin is a nasty mess from so much toxic overload, you will be shining.

It is always worth it to stick to your guns. Society will ensure that the holidays happen again, just as always, every year – so skipping one or two seasons of excess, honestly, will only do you good.

  1. Create and refer to a healing vision board, goals, and visualization practice to bolster your resolve when the cheese dip is calling your name. Keeping up a solid ritual with them all year-round will make it easier when times of candied-crises arise.

2. Give Yourself a Healing Treat (or Ask for One!)

A glamorous woman in a gown on a train platform

If you’re feeling glum about all the stuff you’re missing this season, take the helm and give yourself a healing treat.

It may be dried mango trail mix or home-made soap.

Or, if you’re mega fancy, an infrared sauna session, holistic facial, aromatherapy session, etc.

Bliss out in restorative ways to remind yourself that you are healing quickly, comfortably, and completely.

It’s not necessarily going to be obvious to others that you’d rather not get the usual tray of brownies, cocktail mixers, and cheese board for Christmas.

If you’re in the habit of gift exchange, it’s OK to say that you’re shifting gears this year and trying something new.

If it feels right, you might suggest alternatives like essential oils, a body brush, or organic fruit – all small, easy, and inexpensive options.

3. Reinvent the Holidays

A black and white photo of a woman holding a leafy stem with her silhouette cut out and replaced with pine branches

Stop insisting that festivities happen in the same way as they have for a hundred years.

Holidays are often just old habits on repeat – eating too much, seeing people you’d rather not, huge amounts of waste, and a lot of joyous expectation.

I know I’m being cynical – but I’m not sorry.

Whatever you choose to believe or hold dear, you can opt out of garbage.

You can define the parameters of your celebrations.

Ditch the old useless stuff.

Begin fresh.

Change.

You don’t have to go, do, be, accept, and deal with anything.

Sometimes, traditions suck.

Get rid.

Move on.

Reinvent your meals, your gifts, your parties, everything.

If your holidays are not healing experiences, it’s definitely time to capital C Change the channel.

4. Celebrate Without Food

A vintage woman holding a huge holiday cocktail

If a specific dietary change is a big part of your healing protocol, the first thing you’ll notice is how everything revolves around food.

Everything.

It’s an obsession.

Obviously, the holidays are the mega hulking steroid version of this phenomenon.

And if you are choosing to avoid certain foods or groups, it can be a social shoot-out.

But a useful (and little known) fact here, is that it doesn’t have to revolve around face-stuffing.

You’re not going to change anyone’s feasting traditions by opting out, but you can get festive in millions of other ways that do not involve fine china and mystery sausages.

Shift the focus from food and get creative about different times, places, and types of festive fiascos.

5. Holidays on Your Own Terms

A black and white photo of a woman pouring drinks for children

Host the kind of celebration you’d like to have – doesn’t mean you have to cook a 12 course meal and chop down a tree and hand-make stocking stuffers.

Go for a holistic massage and a juice bar instead of dinner and cocktails (they’ll probably end up costing about the same).

Or take a long walk and hang out bird seed bombs for hungry critters.

Volunteer at a women’s shelter.

Get invigorated about seeing life through a healing lens – which is with true gratitude, energy, and connection.

Last and Most Importantly

You deserve holidays that are full of healing.

Big, shiny, crazy, wonderful times with all the good stuff.

Otherwise…what’s the point?

You don’t have to spend a fortune, see a psychiatrist, or check into rehab.

It’s actually really simple. 

And if it’s not simple, it should be – so calm down, pare down, and sit down.

Finished with Healing through the Holidays Part 3? Hit up Part 1 and Part 2, and look out for Part 4 in a couple weeks!

You got this. 

xoxo

 

 

Want more of the good stuff? There are few things in this life that actually produce results – and this is where it starts. Get my FREE guide,

7 Steps to Healing Success

You’re here for a reason. Listen to your gut.

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Healing Through the Holidays Part 1: Diet, Parties, and Social Sabotage 

When You’re Sick and Exhausted 

Three vintage girls standing on a holiday turkey meal

It’s unfair that it even comes to this, but navigating healing through the holidays can be exhausting, anxiety filled, and potentially progress-wrecking.

Particularly if you are prone to flare-ups or are at a critical point in your healing journey, the holidays are just a gift wrapped hand-grenade.

While your healing journey is deeply personal and firstly about navigating yourself, dealing with the social aspect cannot be underestimated or ignored.

 

With a little careful planning, expectation management, and simple strategy, you can easily outsmart the holiday hexes that would otherwise send you spiraling into mental, emotional, and physical disaster.

This 4 part series is about realistic, honest strategies for coping through times of good cheer and merriment, also known as the healing danger zone of most terrible and unmitigated sabotage, also known as The Holidays.

 

While I cannot protect you from awful bobbly snowman sweaters and Christmas ornaments on store shelves before Halloween is even over, I can impart sanity saving advice that ACTUALLY WORKS to get you through the particularly trying season of holiday healing.

No sensational claims. No gift buying guides. No tinsel.

Healing Through the Holidays: Part I

1. Don’t Go to Parties

A vintage picture of an exhausted, sleeping woman in a chair

I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t. By all means – get your glitter on and light some candles. All I’m saying is you don’t have to. These things come around every single year. Skipping won’t kill anyone. You don’t even have to explain yourself.

You’re not obligated.

It’s not required.

You’re not a bad human for opting out.

There is no blame or guilt.

If you’re sick, tired, can’t face it, are over it, and otherwise not filled with the spirit of pumpkin spiced hysteria, then stay home and read. Or sleep. Drink tea. Watch junky TV. Meditate. Prune your Bonsai.

Point is, if you want to, do, if you don’t, don’t.

You’re healing through the holidays – not suffering through them.

2. Evaluate Your Mindset

A vintage picture of a woman with words coming out of her head

The holidays are directly linked to our childhoods: good and bad memories, expectations, disappointments, friends, family, abundance, lack. Your experience now is based on years of conditioning.

For some, it’s truly magical and exciting – but for many (most?) it’s taxing, tedious, and overwhelming. There may be some painful roots to these feelings that need digging out and examining.

To help you cope in the short term (as roots often take quite a lot of time and energy to extract and deal with) try some of these FREE daily healing, calming practices for immediate (and lasting!) relief:

 

      1. Visualization Meditation: Spend 5 mins in the morning or evening conjuring up images of you in your best healed state, enjoying the holidays like a total honey mama. Your brain loves this kind of positive reinforcement and helps to manifest this energy into reality.
      2. Hypnosis: 15 mins in the morning or evening will reprogram your subconscious mind to heal from the inside out. It’s basically taking a nap while listening to some soothing, healing audio. Easy shit.
      3. Affirmations: Classic, crucial technique here. Create some awesome affirmations that uplift, inspire, and fuel your confidence about the direction you want to heal in. I am healing quickly, comfortably, and completely in this moment. I am safe and protected from all external forces, and healing is happening within me at all times. That kind of thing.
      4. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT, Tapping): There are tons of free vids online. Find a practitioner who speaks to you and give it a try. Deceptively powerful stuff.

3. Make It Clear That You Have Different Needs

A woman singing while holding and apple in a holiday decorated kitchen

If you’re going to face healing through the holidays all gung-ho, then you should consider making it clear to your host or guests that your needs are a little different this year.

Maybe your best friend is totally cool making her stuffing gluten free.

 

Or, if it’s too complicated to adjust the menu, let the cook know you’ll be supplementing with your own dishes. It may freak them out a little, so prepare for a bit of back-lash.

Even though you deserve to be treated with care on your healing journey, you are the exception – so expecting the whole cast and crew to mold to your needs will cause tension. No drama, no demands.

 

See what sort of collaboration you can create – perhaps you bring a couple of main dishes that can be enjoyed by everyone, but are also healer friendly – you eat, they eat, everyone eats.

If no one digs into your food, all the more left-overs for you. Win.

4. The Diet

A stylish woman with a pile of food on her head

The worst thing you can do around the holidays is tell people you are on a diet. They will make it their life mission to sink your ship.

People can’t stand to be around anyone on a diet – particularly if they are indulging. It feels too much like judgment to them.

As humans, we just want to be part of the collective whole – and the “holiday whole” is a beast. Everyone wants to have a good time – but not to be made to feel guilty about the extra (four) glasses of wine.

 

Sticking to your diet is imperative to healing through the holidays – but if word gets out, you’ll be busted.

To avoid the comments, snears, unsolicited opinions and suggestions of anyone who is NOT on a healing journey (and therefore, not entitled to intervene), get a little official on their buns.

Say something like “I’m on a doctor prescribed diet,” which sounds all very professional and serious. They’re not going to mess with doctor’s orders.

Whereas, if you start saying, “I’m on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, which means no grains, and it’s designed to rebuild gut health…” they’ll shoot it down as hippie hokum, misconstrue it as weight-loss, or label you as one of those picky, hoity-toity healthy types.

 

Just give them some official (possibly bullshit) line, and they will leave it.

You can apply this to any practice or routine that you are using for healing.

Last and Most Importantly

Your holidays can be healing experiences.

It takes adjustment, creativity, and little bravery (particularly if you cannot rely on booze to get you through this time…).

But I know you can do it.

You can deal.

You can heal.

You can blow up the pumpkin pie with a smile on your face.

 

If you’re actually ready to let go of your pain, and become the person you were born to be – like real and serious and no bullshit –

Get Better for FREE

Because you can.

A woman sitting in a field of daffodils on the cover of the e-book Get Better for Free by Anna Kay

 

Dying at 27

I’d been waiting for weeks. Months even.

When the results came in, I wasn’t expecting much. I’d had so many tests before.

Until I received an emergency phone call from my doctor.

I had life threatening parasites.

My inflammation markers were off the charts.

My immune system was wrecked.

My liver could rupture at any moment.

It was so serious my physician couldn’t help me.

It was Christmas break.

The specialist’s office was closed for the holidays.

I knew I was going to die.

A floral background with the words Dying and Death over the top

Mis-diagnosis to Insanity

Back in 2005 or so, in my mid teens, I began to develop strange digestive symptoms. Fuelled by a destructive relationship to food and an eating disorder, I soon became extremely ill. By my mid twenties, I was wracked with aches and pains, fatigue, acne, eczema, allergies, and sensitivities. I couldn’t sleep at night and couldn’t stay awake in the day. Exercise was out of the question and eating was agony.

 

Living in the UK, I had the benefit of the NHS (free national health care) on my side, so I went from doctor to doctor, pleading for help, desperate for answers. Time and again I got patronized, misdiagnosed, and ignored. Their answer was always some form of pharmaceutical bandaid which caused more side effects than anything – and they certainly didn’t cure me.

 

In short, they thought I was crazy, depressed, and hormonal. In truth, those things had become true as I was systematically mishandled. But it wasn’t because I was a head case that this was happening; I had become a head case because this was happening. It was my own personal decent into a certain kind of insanity.

A woman holding scissors near her face

Ditching the Doctors

When doctors finally told me nothing was wrong and I was “in the prime of my life” I broke in two. If this was my prime, then life was over for me. I could hardly eat anything besides carrots and olive oil (my skin literally turned orange). All I could do was barely scrape through a day. I was miserable and resentful and angry and just so incredibly sick.

It was the loneliest place I’ve ever known.

The divorce was mutual; I had ditched the doctors and they ditched me. That relationship was dead.

So I tried acupuncture, massage therapy, and herbalism. I’d followed online gurus, self-medicated, and self-meditated till I was numb.

A woman surrounded by carrots and bottles of olive oil

Until I found Brie, my functional medicine practitioner.

Finally, someone who understood my suffering! Who took my complaints seriously and had genuine answers that made sense and produced results.

Thank God this would all be over soon.

Dying in Two Different Countries at Once

I grew up in the states. Small town, big family. When I was 20, I moved to London to work as a make-up artist. I got married and became a UK citizen.

Brie, my functional medical practitioner, lived in California and we liaised via Skype. In 2015, I was back in the US, visiting family for Christmas.

That’s when I got my life threatening parasite diagnosis.

And I needed specialist care. Immediately.

I had no insurance.

I had no connections.

I couldn’t stay in the US for treatment.

I didn’t even know what treatment I would need.

I contacted emergency care in the UK before I flew back, to let them know the situation. So I could get care. So I wouldn’t die. So my liver wouldn’t rupture and fill my body with poison.

A drawing of a liver

But nothing happened.

There was no rush. No sense of urgency. No immediate care. No emergency procedures.

My NHS doctor casually referred me to the tropical diseases unit, saying I’d get an appointment in a month or two.

And I knew, without doubt, I’d never make it to that appointment.

At 27 years old, I would die scared and alone.

Two Months of Dying

I was crying in the shower. Again.

Head in hands, rocking back and forth.

Regret and pain and loss, streaming down my face.

It’s not how I wanted my life to end.

I wasn’t ready for death.

I was scared. So, so scared.

Waking Up from Death

A vintage picture of a woman with her eyes crossed out

In the end, I didn’t die. But I spent over two months (a total of 67 days) believing with every bone in my body that the icy voice of death would whisper into my ear at any moment, calling me to my grave.

 

It changed me.

 

The fact is, many parts of me did die that winter. Layers and layers of fear and doubt fell away, laying bear the truth. Exposing my mortality and frailty – and awakening my life and vitality. Priorities became scalding hot to the touch with blinding white clarity.

 

Living was a privilege. A chance. A brief miracle.

Dying once was enough for me.

 

12 Things I Learned from Nearly Dying That Could Save Your Life

 

This stuff could save your life. It saved mine. 

 

1. You Are What You Think

You’re not crazy – you’re in control. You determine what the experience becomes. Think wisely. 

2. Healing is a Mindset

You must engage your brain to access your body. They are intrinsically linked.

3. You Are Your Own Best Healer

Listen to the way your body speaks. Learn its language. It always knows.

4. You Must Get the Right Kind of Help

Fumbling in the dark will ruin your soul. Being mishandled by doctors is even worse. Find a functional medical practitioner to heal you from the inside out.

5. Health Goals Are Essential

Get clear about what your healing success looks like. Visualize it. Meditate on it. Bring it to life.

Hands holding and candle with vines wrapped around them

6. You’ve Got to Shed the Past

The past will keep you sick. Old ways, old stories, old habits. Examine. Get honest. Get rid.

7. Life Really is Short

Too short for bullshit. Move on.

8. Fear is a Faker

Respect fear for it’s role in protecting you and then step over it. It will only trick you into believing every kind of lie.

9. You Might Not Know What You Thought You Knew

Perhaps the clouds will part to reveal your deepest desires. Your truest self. Stuff you never dreamed of. Stuff you swore you’d never do. Prepare for a life unexpected.

10. Knowing Who You Are is Vital

Finding out who you really are and what you really want will connect you to your highest purpose and passion. Make a plan to live meaningfully, beautifully and exceptionally.

11. Healing is a Choice

You have to want to heal. You have to get your priorities straight. You have to get rid of blocks and excuses.

12. Many Cures for One Malady

There is no one pill fits all solution. Find your own healing way. Use whatever works for you. Find what feels good. Try everything. Listen to your bod. 

 

Life or Death

Living rose and dying roses on a table

Life or Death

You choose, honey.

Right now.

It’s time for you to decide for yourself.

Whether to live or die.

Doesn’t matter whether you’re sick or well or beautiful or wealthy.

You have to make the choice.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they’re 75.”

Wake up.

 

Tell me. Where did your near death experience take you? What darkness have you known through illness or loss? How did you find your way back home? I want to know. 

You Deserve True Healing

Book your FREE 15 minute appointment with my

LIFE SAVING Partner and Functional Medicine Practitioner, Brie Wieselman today.**

Brie Wieselman

**Brie is my affiliate partner, so let her know who sent you and thank you for supporting us both.

And

Want to Get Better for FREE?

You can.

Right now.

A woman sitting in a field of daffodils on the cover of the e-book Get Better for Free by Anna Kay

 

**WARNING Graphic content: might not be suitable for work**

Some people are born sick. I wasn’t.

I made myself sick. I spent my entire childhood building up to spending my entire adulthood being sick.

And I was incredibly successful at doing so.

Since before I was a teenager, food always held negative connotations for me. My mom was always on a diet and fat-free was pure gospel. At 12 years old, I gave up soda because I knew it was “bad” and felt guilty every time I had a brownie or a Twix.

Barbie celebrating food, crossed out with a big red sign

By the time I was in high school, a flat tummy was my primary concern, and all I wanted was to be thin and beautiful, so I resolutely claimed I didn’t eat wheat or dairy because I “couldn’t tolerate them” – giving myself a bona fide condition (without the help of any doctors).

From about the age of 17, I was heath obsessed and self-punishing full time. If I indulged in frozen yogurt or had eaten too much, I’d take a walk by myself and purge my shame into the neighbor’s bushes, quiet and discrete.

A barbie being sick behind a fence post

In my twenties, I no longer had to worry about barfing up my problems. I had finally achieved my goal: I could hardly eat anything. I was sick. Really, really sick. My belly was huge with parasites, SIBO, H. Pylori, adrenal fatigue, chronic fatigue, hormone imbalances, and fibromyalgic pain.

A sick woman with a distended abdomen

An entire lifetime of food fear and self-loathing had finally come full circle. I no longer had to restrict my diet or think of reasons to exclude gummy bears from my life; my body was doing it on autopilot, and I had a great big distended, angry belly to show for it (not the lithe, svelte frame I’d dreamed of).

 

Chronic Illness and Eating Disorders

I’m going to throw it right out there: I believe my eating disorder became my illness. I believe that my fear of getting fat and having a poochy belly turned into an eating disorder. I think the eating disorder ingrained negative ideas of eating so deeply in my mind that I got sick and became engrossed in 10 years of food sensitivities and life consuming infection.

I had every symptom, every problem, and was deeply suspicious of all food all the time. I became anti-social, was incessantly harassed by the stupid body I hated, and tormented myself over every bite I took and what sort of reaction I would have.

See the pattern there?

And it is probably the same reason YOU are so sick all the time.

Huge, right?

A hideous boulder right in the eye and whoa whoa whoa whoa no.

Let me explain.

 

The Real Reason You’re So Sick All the Time

You don’t have to have a full blown eating disorder in order to qualify, here. It could be something as simple as hating your reflection. Repeating how fat you are every time those jeans squeeze your tum. Believing that if you eat dessert you’ll gain 5 pounds immediately. Mutilating your self-esteem with fashion mags. Buying yet another lipstick to make yourself feel better.

I’m talking about your brain. Your mindset. The way you see yourself and the relationship you have to your body and food and health and healing.

A woman thinking of a cupcake

That’s the real reason you’re so sick all the time. Because your mind is getting right up in your business, hijacking your best intentions and blasting you off course. Bringing out all the dirty laundry and making a stinking shambles of the whole thing.

3 Free Ways to Stop Your Mindset from Making You Sick

I know you’re here because you want to be well. I know you’ve crashed and burned the brain plane. I know you’ve dragged your body through pharmaceutical hell and back. Your soul is shredded and your spirits are singed.

It’s time to stop killing yourself. Stop spending your life suffering. Stop wandering blind.

Use these three tips as a jumping off point to kick start true healing. Take it from a professional invalid, educating your body, beautifying your mind, and healing your life starts here (and it’s free!).

1. Get Honest

Getting honest about the underlying causes of being unwell (physically or mentally) is rough. It’s emotionally triggering and psychologically challenging. I means facing facts and taking responsibility for your role. Believe me; I did NOT want to admit that a shameful eating disorder (and fear and self-loathing) had robbed me of 10 prime years(!).

Look at your symptoms. Your situation. Can you spot any patterns? Can you see where it all began? Was there an event that triggered you? A set of behavioral traits you inherited from your mom?

Digging up these roots will feel like a soul bearing, gut wrenching inquisition. But the answers are there, and they are the key to healing. You must confront the true cause before you embrace true healing – otherwise, it’s likely you will be (unconsciously) repeating patterns of self-sabotage.

 

2. Forgive Yourself

A heart made of broken pieces of blue dishes

Your self-exploration may uncover some nasty stuff. Proper demons. And that’s OK. In fact, that’s freaking awesome. The sooner you call all that stuff into the light, the sooner you can deal and ditch.

Throughout this process – from before you discover anything, through to thriving victory – you must forgive yourself for everything. For all the past failures, the negative thoughts, the self-loathing, how long it takes, the dark secrets. All of it.

Create a beautiful mindset from this point by simply allowing your past to exist, accepting yourself in the moment, and moving forward with a positive intention. Don’t dwell. Don’t punish. Everything happens for your highest good, so (even if you don’t understand it right now) move on believing that purpose and value will reveal itself as you press along with forgiveness and self-love in the driver’s seat.

 

3. Train Your Brain

Healing is the art of bringing physiology (the body) and psychology (the brain) into alignment with one another. Your body cannot be vital if your brain is sick, and vice versa. We must attend to both in order to achieve harmony.

But what if your mind is chattin’ about how ugly your thighs are? What if a little carb alarm goes off every single time you see a loaf of bread? What if you’re used to counting calories and get sucked in by swimming suit season advertising? Healing is not going to come from a place of comparison and inadequacy. 

You must reign in the brain to assist your healing journey. It’s not optional. After you get honest, you can start to dive into the subconscious programming that is informing your actions (and ultimately responsible for your successful recovery). Healing Hypnosis is a free and easy way to get you started on your way. You may also consider mindfulness, emotional freedom techniques, positive affirmations, meditation, or a combination of all. Find what feels good, and do it. 

Start Kicking Ass Today with a Beautiful Mindset

Oh my honey.

This is your cue.

The part where you get to put on your flower crown and take action.

Where you get to shine because you are finally standing in the light.

Where everyone gets to feel your love and share in the gifts you bring.

Because now you know.

How to move forward.

And how to move mountains.

Oh my gosh, yes.

 

xoxo

 

Tell me. Did you spend 2 years wrapped in a duvet with debilitating digestion? Did you pick up parasites in Peru? Have you had a spiritual healing experience? I want to know. 

You deserve true healing.

Book your FREE 15 minute appointment with my

LIFE SAVING Partner and Functional Medicine Practitioner Brie Wieselman today.**

Brie Wieselman

ALSO

You can stop being sick when you’re ready.

Start here:

7 Steps to Healing Success

A woman wearing a berry crown on the cover of Seven Steps to Healing Success

(FREE FREE FREE!)

**Brie is my affiliate partner, so let her know who sent you and thank you for supporting us both.

 

You’ve read all the best advice.

 

Even paid quite a lot for some of it.

You’ve tried pills and potions, natural remedies and chemical cocktails.

Maybe you’ve seen a psychiatrist, reflexologist, and gemstone healer.

You’ve tried dry brushing and charcoal detoxes and meditation.

 

You’re not sick because you’re not trying.

 

But you’re not well, even though you’re really trying.

 

But honestly, nothing freaking works. 

 

What the heck?

Lots of makeup, pills, and skin care

 

If you’ve spent a shed ton on expensive elixirs and miracle therapies, why are you still struggling with the same old demons? Why all the brain fog? Why the hideous acne and hair loss and dry skin? Why don’t you feel beautiful, even with a drawer full of designer lipstick? Why the pain and fatigue and confusion and stupid stupid pointlessness of it all?

 

All you can think is:

I don’t want to be sick anymore.

I don’t want to be sick anymore.

I don’t want to be sick anymore!

Ah ha. There it is. The crux. The answer. The cruelty.

 

Wait, what? Did you miss it?

 

Let me explain.

The Absolute Key To Getting Better

Let me explain something that took me 28 years to stop ignoring. Listen closely because this will change your life in every single way forever and ev.

 

In order to heal, in order for your efforts to fulfill your desires (whether it’s to become more sociable, reduce sun spots and wrinkles, or improve adrenal function) you have to get your brain on board. Have to. Must. No other options.

A barbie wearing a helmet that is connected to lightbulbs to improve her mindset for healing

 

That is the key. Right there. Get your brain (and, moreover, your subconscious mind, which is 97% of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions) to do the hard work for you. 

 

You could throw a million dollars, the best supplements, and the most brilliant specialists at your problems…and it will all be for nothing until you get that mindset sorted. 

 

Once you have the gray matter on your side, the landscape of life becomes something beyond what you ever thought possible.

 

How? Read on.

 

The Two-Part Process to Getting Better

It’s natural for us to talk about what we want and don’t want. From infancy, we are trained to think in those terms. I want strawberry ice cream. I don’t want hair on my upper lip. I want to be a millionaire. I don’t want to be sick anymore.

 

However, this social norm presents a healing double edged conundrum that’s so sharp, it’ll skewer your liver and scramble your brains in a second if you’re not careful. Stay with me now, this is massive.

 

In order to find freedom from the suffering of your mind and body, you’ve got to get a hold of this two-part key to getting better.

 

You don’t want to be sick anymore. That’s a given.

So:

1. You have to frame your health and healing goals in the positive tense.

And:

2. You have to get your subconscious mind on board.

 

Let me explain each in detail.

1. Shifting the Negative Focus

A pink germanium

Thinking in terms of what we want and don’t want becomes counter-productive when we get stuck stating what we want by saying what we don’t want.

 

For example, we’ve all thought, I don’t want to be sick anymore! Which is a perfectly reasonable sentiment. But what we really mean is, I want to be healthy, strong, vital and well.

 

See the difference?

 

Making the switch will take some time and effort; I know you don’t want it to rain on your wedding day and you certainly don’t want your tum to be bloated when you go out to dinner in a nice dress.

 

But every time you catch yourself framing what you want in the negative tense, simply redirect. Re-frame the sentiment with a positive spin. You want warm sunny weather for your big day, and you want to feel sexy and amazing in that figure-hugging dress.

 

Similarly, when you think, I don’t want to be sick anymore, dial into the vision you have of yourself being well, and focus on whatever encouraging, positive outcome you truly desire. Set yourself a definitive goal that you can focus on and visualise. It may be that you want to visit Venice and wear a yellow halter top. Or take a sewing class at the local college. Maybe you’ve always wanted to Salsa dance. Whatever it is: focus on going insane with happiness. 

 

2. Getting Better With the Subconscious Mind

Barbie holding a light bulb over her head to show a beautiful mindset

The subconscious mind is a tricky biscuit. It is non-negotiable that we get a grip on it; otherwise, we will constantly be battling against it’s 97% influence over our lives.

However, there are a few tricks to training the subconscious mind to do what we want, and one of them is learning to speak its language.

 

What I said about re-framing the negative focus from I don’t want to I want is the first part. Now, we’re going to refine that sentiment. 

 

You see, the thing is, the subconscious mind is extremely literal. So, when you say, I want, then your subconscious accepts that you are living in a state of wanting. As in, you are simply longing for something, and will continue to yearn for that thing as long as you say, I want. Your subconscious will simply go, “Righty-ho, we are going to want the dickens out of this thing!” As such, you will continue to want and want and want, never to be fulfilled.

 

The way to get around this is to re-frame yet again, by taking the positive focus you have cultivated from I want to the present tense of I am/I have/it is. So, instead of saying, I want to heal, say, I am healing more and more every day. In this way, your subconscious goes, “Oh, OK. So we are healing more everyday. Great. Let’s heal.”

 

Accordingly, your thoughts, emotions, and reactions begin to reflect this subconscious idea that every day you are healing more and more. As we apply this frame work to other areas of our life (particularly our healing journey) it all becomes far less effort and a much more intuitive, natural flow. It becomes habit. Imagine if being amazingly well and happy was simply a habit. As in, easy. Something you do without effort or even thinking.

 

That’s like ultimate success on auto-pilot (delivered in a vintage basket with peach jam).

 

From today, you can now start saying: my yoga practice is healing and nurturing my body. I am loving and forgiving in every moment and have more energy each day. I am beautiful, with youthful skin and an open mind.

(Even if you don’t entirely believe what you are saying, stick with it. You are rewiring your brain, which takes a bit of coaxing. Like any muscle, with regular practice, you will see results. The subconscious mind responds really well to repetition, so get cracking!)

Open Your Mind to Getting Better 

An drawing of a human heart overlaid onto a sunset

Though not necessarily easy, this two-step process is the absolute key to getting better, and has the potential to radically alter your future.

It certainly changed my life. Like, completely.

 

And it’s totally free.

 

Imagine it: you totally (and dare I say, miraculously) transform your life, love, health, and relationships with some tiny little blog advice and boom!

You’re teaching aerobics like you’ve always wanted.

 

You’re a make-up artist on film sets, living the dream.

 

You can make love and have babies and eat cake and hold kittens and blow bubbles because you are strong and vital and well, inside and out.

 

Do this with me.

 

Educate your body. Beautify your mind. Heal your life.

 

Yes oh baby yes.

 

Tell me: Where has your healing journey taken you? Where have you been and what did you discover about who you really are? What pain have you overcome to become a bright shiny thing of absolute beauty? I want to know. 

Sick of being a sick, sad sister?

Want to Get Better for FREE?

You can.

Right now.

A woman sitting in a field of daffodils on the cover of the e-book Get Better for Free by Anna Kay

 

Your body gives you mixed signals all the time: You’re exhausted during the day, but can’t sleep at night. You crave carbs all the time, but then feel bloated and irritable when you eat them. You gain weight when you’re on a diet and lose weight when you stop exercising…

What is going on?

The truth is that our beautiful bodies are infinitely more complicated than we’ve been lead to believe. In spite of decades of medical reassurances that one-size-fits-all pharmaceuticals are the answer, the fact is, we are intrinsically unique. Despite statistics, “norms”, and base line numbers, every single body requires specialized care.

What Does This Have to Do with You?

A woman with a vine crown staring at tree roots

This means that no matter how emphatic your fitness coach is about high intensity interval training, it might actually not be for you. Similarly, a vegan, Paleo, or South Beach diet may be the worst possible choice for your health and body.

I wish I had one sure-fire, all around, you-betcha method to heal your bod and strengthen your mind and connect with conscious purpose in life.

But I don’t.

However, I can teach you a little something about developing Health Intuition – which is the single best thing you can do for life long healing.

Most people put their health in the hands of doctors – in fact, they practically throw it at them, desperate to numb the pain, fix the problems, and forget about the whole thing. They want a hands-off approach, with no responsibility and no inconvenience.

Ah, honey. I wish.

But your health is your power, and your intuition is the finely tuned wisdom that curates that power into genuine vitality – physically, mentally, spiritually, the whole party.

It’s a shame, and maybe even a little depressing, but no one is going to advocate for your health if you don’t. And you can’t possibly get very far if you aren’t intimately acquainted with the intricate language of your physiology. A doctor will never really know what’s best for you and how those pills will affect your moods, emotions, and psyche. Only you can.

How Do You Develop Health Intuition?

Hands holding a glowing candle wrapped in vines
We’ve all been taught to mitigate symptoms and numb the pain – how do you go into your experience and extract meaning, without getting overwhelmed? How do you create and strengthen the muscles of intuition, so that you can be your own best doctor and heal with intelligence and clarity?

Developing health intuition is about moving away from pain and confusion into a place of mindful experience and understanding. It’s about listening with love and guiding yourself back into balance when things go awry. It’s interpreting the experience you have in your mind and body as meaningful; honoring its signals to achieve greater harmony within yourself and in the world around you.

In time, you will become accustomed to the language of your mind and body; at this point, you will have a much greater sense of exactly what you need in any given situation; more sleep, less stress, more B vitamins. Essentially, you are strengthening your gut instinct with regards to your health and wellbeing.

It’s certainly not a hard science, and I don’t intend to mislead you into thinking this is a health obsession that will suddenly reveal all answers to all things; it’s a gift of internal wisdom that provides freedom from fear based living (omg, why do I feel this way!?) and independence from generic advice (that is ultimately useless to you and your unique situation.

Dealing with DistractionsA beautiful meadow of bluebells

A crucial aspect of developing an intuition of your own mind and body is turning the volume down on life. Modern existence is rife with constant stimulus; you must must must step back, unplug, and unwind.

Distraction is often a coping mechanism; it allows us to drown out the unpleasant, boring, and uncomfortable aspects of the day to day. However, developing health intuition is the opposite of this. It’s noticing everything with intention. It’s digging out the root, finding the meaning, and being honest about cause and effect.

When you reduce the amount of chatter in your life, listening to your own mind and body becomes much easier – and, with practice, second nature. Unsubscribe from demanding newsletters, leave your headphones at home, and recycle the gossips mags; the senses of your heart will have a wealth of wisdom to share with you – about your emotional triggers, deepest needs, and the healing paths that are exactly right for you.

Consciously customize your life to be in tune with your mind and body to create a beautiful mindset and thriving health.

Do Less, Be More

It’s frowned upon in our society, but doing less opens the door to becoming more. As with distractions, doing is a coping strategy and being busy is seen as a sign of purpose and success. Aside from being a smoke screen for stress and insecurity, busy clouds your ability to feel and distinguish – and is often a huge contributing factor for ill health and lack of well being.

Examine all the areas in your life that cause significant strain, drama, and upheaval. Can you disengage from them, even temporarily? Can you quit the committee, avoid the fake socials, and work from home once a week?

Instead of bulldozing your life with busyness, give yourself space. Pencil in quiet time. Get an adult coloring book. Go for a walk. Be alone. Find what feels good for you, and give your mind and body the chance to speak to you. Gain clarity by calming it down and scaling back.

Food Journaling

A woman writing a journal in the forest to develop health intuition

Everything from brain fog to mood and energy levels effect and are effected by what you consume – but blind speculation will only frustrate and confuse. Sticking with this practice for a month will give you a bird’s eye view of your eating habits and how they might be influencing your wellbeing.

This is not obsessive calorie counting or an exercise in self judgement. This is the single best way to orient your mind toward recognizing actions and reactions. No need to be meticulous, just be honest. You may be surprised what sort of patterns crop up that you wouldn’t have been able to pin-point otherwise.

In time, this will enable you to identify specific signals from your body, and respond calmly and effectively.

 

Elimination Dieting
A wooden bowl of apples and pine cones with vines trailing over them

I hesitate to mention this one – a.) because it’s so boring and b.) because it can lead to unhealthy nutrient restriction.

However, I will proceed with caution, because I do believe it offers a brilliant chance to dial into your body’s inner workings. Providing you stick to the guidelines and know that elimination diets are designed for short periods of time, they can compliment your food journaling journey.

Intuition starts with simplicity. By paring down your menu, you can easily isolate different foods or food groups to determine how you react to them. It’s almost impossible to identify the effect a specific food has on you without minimizing the variables. Potential culprits can hide in unlikely places, so in order to get to the bottom of your hormone imbalances, bloating, and PMS, develop a knowing relationship what you eat to enhance your health intuition.

 

Learn with Purpose

A woman wrapped in a blanket while reading to develop health intuition

Although intuition is cultivation from within, external influence can sharpen your tools for maximum effect. Now that we’ve ditched the distractions, set aside some of that spare time and space in your life with intelligent learning; that is to say, give up the drama series binge (which is just distracting fluff and filler) and bring more meaning into your day.

Read inspiring books that teach you how to connect with your inner truth. There are podcasts and documentaries for every niche; listen during your commute, while you cook dinner, and when you brush your teeth.

Adopt a practice of positive affirmations and empower your subconscious mind to teach your cells how to heal themselves with love and enthusiasm! Test out different self-help modalities. Find exactly what works for your individual needs and preferences. Open your mind to wider possibilities, all while honing your own perception of self.

 

Prepare For Surprises and Contradictions

A hand with leaves for fingernails and jewellery made of flowers and leaves

True intuition knows that hard and fast rules often only apply to a small portion of life – the rest of the time, it’s a complete jumble of fact, feeling, experience, and unexpected outcomes. Creating your own health intuition means listening to your body to develop a dynamic ebb and flow.

It’s combining medication and meditation, if you must. It’s sticking to your guns, and being flexible; respecting your body with nourishing food, and celebrating your grandma’s birthday with scrumptious carrot cake.

Finding balance and alignment is a system of give and take; moreover, it’s knowing when to give, and when to take. It’s not being “correct”, but recognizing that your mind and body can hold two opposing views at the same time.

Allowing yourself to live in this freedom of flow will dispel any hard-line thinking (and subsequent guilt) that often accompanies strict healing protocols and intense ideologies.

A Final Word on Health Intuition

It’s vital for you to know that these parameters are intended to bring you freedom and understanding – not eternal restriction and misery.

Use these tools to sharpen your senses. Get the most out of your wellness routine by becoming your own best advocate – knowing when, how, and why to seek help, take herbal supplements, get acupuncture, and so on.

You will discover exactly what works for you. You will avoid wasting precious time, money, and energy on stuff that just doesn’t work for you (and be OK with it!).

Get intuitive, my lovely.

 

Tell me. Have you discovered the secret to harmonious hormones? What happened when your body hit rock bottom? How has your intuition ever saved you from disaster. I want to know. 

You just need to get better, my sad, sick sister.

Start with this FREE guide:

7 Steps to Healing Success

A woman wearing a berry crown on the cover of Seven Steps to Healing Success

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Brie Wieselman

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You’ve reached the edge. You’ve been sick for a long time. You’re staring down into the darkest, deepest abyss of your soul wondering…will you fall? Will you jump?

You’ve been fobbed off by doctors, ignored by your friends and misunderstood by your mother. The symptoms are getting worse, the meds aren’t working, and it’s all you can do to get out of bed.

What now? How do you go on with work? Your struggling relationships? Paying the bills and simply living your life?

So much pain. Confusion. Frustration. Disappointment.

But are you really ready to find true healing?

To heal and thrive with purpose?

What do I mean? How could you NOT want to be well?

Well, that’s where it gets a bit sticky.

Sometimes the truth is, deep down, we don’t want to be well. I know that sounds pretty disgusting, given how bad you feel right now. I’m not trolling. This is not provocation for the sake of reaction.

What I am saying, however, is that you need to ask yourself this very serious question in order to truly start healing. In order to see genuine, lasting results. In order to leave it all behind and move forward with your beautiful life.

Are You Really Ready to Get Healthy and Heal?

A question mark made out of gem stones

You might be surprised.

For many, the answer is no.

Getting raw and honest about this, most people will make excuses when it comes to healing. It sounds insane, I know. But how many times have you said:

I don’t have the money.

Maybe later, when I have time.

I have a lot to do right now.

Probably more than you’d like to admit.

It’s human, and it’s OK. But it probably means that, up till now, you haven’t really been ready to get well.

Illness is as much a state of mind as it is a physical condition. I am not suggesting you’re crazy. Not a bit. But what I am saying, is that your experience (and results) very much depend upon your mindset. It’s not the actual illness or remedy…it’s your perception and reaction to it.

Making Your Health a Priority

If you’re ready to find true healing, your wellbeing must be a priority. It can’t be something you only engage with when it’s convenient, or only take interest in when it feels good. It’s a commitment to yourself, right to the end.

It’s not what you want to hear, but making strategic sacrifices is the quickest way to navigate yourself to a state of thriving vitality. This means setting financial priorities to invest in a functional medical practitioner who will heal you from tip to toe, instead splurging on a name brand laptop. This means setting social priorities and postponing the Mexico trip so you can follow through with your healing protocol for the best possible results (and enjoy Mexico way more, as a result).

This means finding purpose through your journey. Giving up complaining and suffering, and taking up self-exploration and paths of progress instead. Sleeping more, eating better, and paying attention to your body with care and kindness.

I am not advocating orthorexia – an obsession with “healthy living” is harmful and destructive. I am calling for a commitment to self. Paying particular attention to detail for a period of time that will yield lasting results. After, you can focus on other amazing priorities in the future with hysterical vim and vigor.

A Barbie trying to decide to find true healing or buy a laptop

Letting go of Excuses

It’s not fair. Why you? It’s too hard. You can’t stand it. Being ready to find true healing means letting go of excuses. Completely. Giving up the temptation to host a pity party and gossip with all the guests about how hard your life is.

It’s true: being sick sucks, 100%. A decade of parasites, SIBO, Candida, Chronic Fatigue and H. Pylori taught me that lesson good and proper. I blamed, complained, waled, and gnashed my teeth. But it didn’t do me a single favor. In fact, it only made me bitter and resentful (and sicker).

If you’re ready for this ship to sail, it doesn’t matter how tired you are. How much you love Diet Coke. How you love to get drunk and binge on doughnuts. This is not a moral judgement; as a human, I wish you blissful indulgence and enjoyment in every form. But right now, doughnuts are not your priority – and you need to be clear with yourself about that…otherwise you will give into that temptation every time it knocks on your door.

Kick out the excuses and replace them with actionable goals. Every time you feel an excuse rising to the surface, write it down. Tape it to the mirror. Stick it along side your health goals and see how it measures up: This is too hard verses an amazing hiking holiday with your partner in the Amazon. No excuses.

Doughnuts made out of paper

Getting Attention From Others

I say with this utmost love and respect, but some people do not want to find true healing for the simple fact that they adore the attention that being sick brings: Sympathy from friends. Get Well cards and beautiful flowers. A doting partner that waits on them, hand and foot. Concern when they tell others that they’re going in for another hospital appointment.

It’s a real trigger for some…but it’s also a formula that works. Instant results (that you can easily get from people you don’t even know!).

There are many psychological theories that explore this behavior, but the point is, you may have some needy subconscious programming that is keeping you ill. Your mindset may be working against your best efforts to truly achieve your wellness goals.

There’s no need to wallow in shame or judgement if this is you; recognize, accept, change. You may need to dig deeper than supplements and detox plans to get to the heart (or brain) of this situation; your subconscious mind may need some tending. Hypnotherapy and meditation are great places to start (today, for free, at home!); Emotional Freedom Technique, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and personal counselling may also help you to come to terms with this blocker.

Barbie holding a Get Well card

Focusing on the Negative

It’s so difficult to reign in the resentment when you’re down and out with chronic illness. I mean, what a waste of life. And what a shed ton of money I’ve already spent. And this is just stupid, stupid, stupid, I give up.

There are two parts to being a successful Negative Nancy: one focuses on everything that’s wrong, and the other zeros in on everything you don’t want in life.

Noticing what’s wrong with your body (and subsequently, your life) is easy. Enjoyable, even. It seems cathartic to hate on every pebble and thread that does you wrong. But all it really does is draw your attention to how much hurt there is in the world – giving you very little encouragement to come up and out of your illness. Why leave your cave if the outside is hostile and horrible?

Secondly, we tend to spend a great deal of energy thinking about what we don’t want, rather than what we do: I don’t want to be sick. I don’t want to feel bad. I don’t want to be tired. These thoughts only reinforce a negative mindset.

Instead, practice gratitude. Notice and be thankful for everything that’s going well for you right now – even if it’s only tiny things: I’m thankful for fresh air, that the sun is shining, and I am able to afford my medication.

Re-framing your thoughts into positive affirmations can help curtail the negative feedback loop of the don’t want mindset; I’m healing every day. I’m so grateful that my body is carrying me through this trial. I’m want to move toward a state of energy and vitality

Both practices will take effort – you are rewiring circuitry that has been functioning in a set way for a long time – but stick with it. The rewards will extend well beyond your health.

Existing Without Illness

Seems like a no-brainer, right? But the reality of living without illness can be a little heavy; counter-intuitive as it seems, it can even be straight up daunting and scary.

It boils down to two things: change and responsibility.

As a species, humans are wired to fear change, and are therefore creatures of habit. We create habit and ritual around everything we do, often without noticing. So, if you’ve been sick for months, years or even decades, you will have created a lifestyle around your condition that eventually becomes familiar and safe (even if it also feels unpleasant). Taking pills, going to appointments, avoiding social engagements, feeling sick when you eat bread, etc. You come to expect it.

By getting your health in order, the sudden prospect of not having these comforting patterns to lean on can upset the rhythm you may have (unconsciously) come to rely on. You may have more time, less structure, or more obligations. What do you do with yourself? How do you transition out of these patterns? What if you can’t cope?

This leads us to the second part: responsibility. Being ill often absolves you of having to take responsibility for your life: how you feel, what you do, why you can’t eat birthday cake, why you leave parties early, why you didn’t get a promotion. It gives you an almighty excuse for just about everything (and a heavy crutch to lean on when you feel hard done by).

However, being well opens up a whole cavern of responsibility you must now take upon yourself; deciding to set goals (and achieve them), accepting that you didn’t get the job, following your (big, scary) dreams, letting go of limiting beliefs and old relationships that no longer serve you.

Both of these things will challenge you, inside and out. Make you want to hide. Send you scurrying back to old (unhelpful) ways. You must prepare yourself for the changes that will come, and own your life without fear. These are both crucial aspects to creating a beautiful mindset and taking back your brain, body, and beauty forever.

Lots of tiny pink shoes with one blue ice skate in the middle

A Final Word on Health and Healing

Maybe you’re not ready to find true healing yet. And you know what, that’s fine. It’s an important distinction to make. True healing will never come from a place of force or resentment. You’re not a bad person or a failure if you’re not ready to go all in.

Give yourself as much time and space as you need, so when you are ready, you can come at this thing with pistols drawn.

In the mean time, start cultivating your beautiful mindset. Explore who you are a little. Find out what you really want and where you want to go. From there, who knows?

And when you get there, when you decide it’s time to tame the beast, I’ll be here.

A doll walking a plastic lion on a leash

 

 

Just get better. 

For FREE

You can.

Right now.

A woman sitting in a field of daffodils on the cover of the e-book Get Better for Free by Anna Kay